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Songs of love lost

The New Neo Posted on by

Love is the biggest topic in pop songs. Love gained, love lost, love betrayed, love regained, love yearned for, love rejected. But did you ever notice that there’s a dearth of popular songs about the death of a loved person? Comparatively speaking, anyway (I’m leaving out opera, which I imagine deals with the subject more often.)

The closest I could come to remembering such a pop song was “Wish You Were Here” by the Bee Gees, dedicated to their brother Andy after he died. But the lyrics mention “dealing with a heart of stone” and otherwise imply the possibility of a living person still out there. Then there are the teeny-bopper songs of my youth like “Teen Angel,” that describe the death of a boyfriend or girlfriend who’s very very young, rather than the far more universal situation in which the loved person dies later in life, when fully grown or even elderly.

Because I was drawing a blank, I looked it up – and found this list. Although not all of them actually are about a loved one’s death, most are – but I’d never heard of the majority of them before.

I’m not sure what it means. Maybe it just means that most people prefer to listen to pop songs about love lost in ways other than death. Or that pop music appeals mostly to the young.

Comments

Songs of love lost — 54 Comments

  1. I’ll have to think on this but one that comes to mind is ‘Aubrey’ by Bread. Like all great songs it’s open to interpretation and I’ve read that David Gates may have wrote it after his wife had a miscarriage and it does work that way.

    Anyway, it’s a great song and David Gates is one of the most under appreaciated singer songwriters ever.

    ‘Aubrey’ Bread

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10nfx6r_trc

  3. There is a diversion to best pop songs about soldiers. Along with “Whiskey Lullaby”, many of those devoted to soldiers have affecting videos on YouTube,most featuring the artists.

  7. Songs about a loved one dying are not rare in country music. Several of the songs on your linked list would fall into the country category. A recent example is “How can I help you say goodbye” (Patty Loveless).

  8. MJR mentioned a very good one- a great song I thought about a lot after my father died a few years ago. On the list were only a few songs I am actually familiar with, but the one that stood out was “Empty Garden” by Elton John that he wrote following the death of John Lennon.

  9. “I’ll be Seeing You” is the first song that I thought of. Maybe constitutes as pop music in the ’40s? Had the term “pop music” been coined yet? It was written in ’38. I don’t think it was intended to have any connection with WWII, but it grew in popularity and after America entered the war it became very popular.

    I was rehearsing it with a school chorus when my grandmother died very suddenly. For the ensuing decades I always think of her when I hear that song.

    M J R, “In the Living Years” always connects my wife with her father and his passing. A very good song.

    “Those were the Days” seems to be thought of as a bit schmaltzy, but it definitely hits me emotionally about aging, death and the fleeting nature of existence.

  14. M J R, “In the Living Years” always connects my wife with her father and his passing. A very good song.
    ==
    Agreed, never gets old.

  15. They are rare in the pop music genre because pop and all others that followed are directed at the young.

  17. When my beloved Aunt died, I never cried. I tidied up her house and closed it up. I left the house empty for about a year and then went back to clean it out and sell it. Her house was in Fl and next to a lake. The first morning I went out to get in my car there was a small alligator (3-4ft) laying under my car behind the front tires with its head sticking out under the driver’s door. I sat down on the steps to think about the situation and then I started to cry. I cried volumes for about 2 hours–the alligator had waddled off on its own steam but still I cried.
    I tell you this just in case you still need to have a really deep, and long cry–it may still be too soon.

  20. James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain” occurred to me first thing.

    I agree that it’s probably because pop music aims for the young.

  21. Oh man, no one has mentioned “Last Kiss”!
    ____________________________

    Well, where oh where can my baby be?
    The Lord took her away from me.
    She’s gone to heaven, so I got to be good,
    So I can see my baby when I leave this world.

    –J. Frank Wilson & The Cavaliers, “Last Kiss” (1964)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuanIYSQntg
    ____________________________

    Of course this is a teen fantasy, not dealing with the death of someone more mature. But then, until maybe the 80s, pop/rock didn’t really deal with experiences beyond one’s twenties.

    I’ll throw in another song after John Lennon was murdered — this song by Paul McCartney. Interesting that it does not focus on the love they must have shared, but their competition.
    ________________________

    It’s a tug of war
    What with one thing and another
    It’s a tug of war
    We expected more
    But with one thing and another
    We were trying to outdo each other
    In a tug of war

    –Paul McCartney, “Tug Of War (Official Music Video)”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlKaGm06Mn8

  24. One must be deep into Leonard Cohen’s music to know this chiller from his second album.:
    _____________________

    It seems so long ago
    Nancy was alone
    A forty-five beside her head
    An open telephone
    We told her she was beautiful
    We told her she was free
    But none of us would meet her in
    The House of Mystery

    And now you look around you
    See her everywhere
    Many use her body
    Many comb her hair
    And In the hollow of the night
    When you are cold and numb
    You hear her talking freely then
    She’s happy that you’ve come

    –Leonard Cohen, “Seems So Long Ago, Nancy (Official Audio)”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEmLSmb_2wk
    _____________________

    Looking up this song tonight, I learned that Nancy was an acquaintance of Cohen’s, who suffered from bipolar disorder. Nancy’s nephew, Tim Challies, wrote up his thoughts:

    https://www.challies.com/articles/seems-so-long-ago-nancy-2/

  25. She sat on the bar stool, she smoked and she drank
    Till the past became clear and the future went blank
    In the path she regains all her beauty and pride
    But that was before Jessie died…

    …Now she sits on the stool with a glass in her hand
    She smiles and she talks to a travelin’ man
    And there was time she would turn down a ride
    But that was before Jessie died

    Tom T. Hall 2:37
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSkN2I3TjBo&ab_channel=TimPBears

  28. As Huxley notes, they missed “Last Kiss”, from Wayne Cochrane in 1961, which I knew of but find the Pearl Jam cover to be better (YMMV):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvjTo-hRD5c

    That came instantly to mind on the topic, because I think the PJ arrangement and Vedder’s voice and pacing does the song spectacularly well.

    Interestingly, Neo, this led me to looking up the original, in which wiki provided this link:
    Teenage tragedy song
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_tragedy_song

    Not every song is about death, but most are, especially if “suicide” is included.

    It also discusses the common themes.

  29. Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn?
    Remember how she said that we would meet again,
    Some sunny day?

    Vera…what has become of you?
    Does anybody else in here the way I do?
    —————
    Not that Pink Floyd is really pop music.

  31. #6 Angel, from that list, came up on the radio as I drove home from a memorial for a close friend in the late nineties. I could barely see the road for the next ten miles or so.

  32. I’m not sure about songs
    But this I am sure about…

    “And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died[f] so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

    May not help at all…but I find it true.

  33. Time, by the Allan Parsons Project. Someone else has died and you wonder if you’ll see them again

    Goodbye my friend
    Maybe for forever
    Goodbye my friend
    The stars wait for me
    Who knows where we shall meet again
    If ever
    But time
    Keeps flowing like a river

    I’ve pondered having this played at my funeral.

  34. Hey Ms. Neo , I hope you choose life. Nobody can really understand anybody else’s loss or pain. Still, I do hope that you choose life. I realize it may be selfish on my part. But there it is.

  35. The heart-wrenching (and perfect) country song, “I drive your truck.”

    Also country, has a title that sounds like a silly drinking song but it’s not: “Drink a Beer.”

    {{ When I got the news today
    I didn’t know what to say
    So I just hung up the phone
    I took a walk to clear my head
    This is where the walking lead
    Can’t believe you’re really gone
    Don’t feel like going home

    … So I’m gonna sit right here
    On the edge of this pier
    Then watch the sunset disappear
    And drink a beer….

  36. CB said: Something most men used to think about. The prospect of dying ‘for her’…

    “And for bonnie Annie Laurie
    I lay me doon and dee”

    I love that song! If I’d had another daughter, I wanted to name her Anna Laura and call her Annie Laurie.

  37. Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro used to be very well known. LTECH

    I also immediately thought about this song when I read the post. In 1968 it played on the radio regularly, such that at 8 I knew the words.

  40. Blue Skies makes me think of my beloved, gone since 2017.

    Noticing the days hurrying by
    When you’re in love, my how they fly by

  42. I also immediately thought about this song when I read the post. In 1968 it played on the radio regularly, such that at 8 I knew the words.
    ==
    If I’m remembering correctly, it was around 1971. It’s a perfectly awful song. I’m remembering my sister lampooning it.

  43. Many of these songs are about loss or missing someone, but not specifically about grieving a romantic love who has died. Or, they are about a relative who has died rather than a lover or husband, or wife. The majority of songs about a romantic love who has died seem to be, as I noted, about teenagers who die.

    A lot of them are good songs, though.

  44. Sennacherib, Nice pick: Paint It Black. I’ve never been big on listening to lyrics or understanding their meaning in the past, so I never knew what that song was about.

    Lady Gaga’s song “Joanne” is about a sister she lost. Not a great song, IMO.

    I saw “Don’t Fear the Reaper” by BOC on that list. It’s a little unique in that it clearly has a darkness vibe to it, but is really rather energetic and stimulating.
    ______

    I’ve been attending many live music events of late and hanging out with a few musician performers as well. Those performers generally have a list of songs that they hate, and I believe part of it is that repetition can breed contemp.

    The crowds are more older than younger in my experiences, and I think they want songs that are: 1) familiar, 2) happy, and 3) energetic. Recently, there was a sizeable crowd and nobody danced until, yes, they played Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” and that pulled people out of their chairs. Everybody plays that song. With good reason I suppose. That’s a song of love lost, but through separation not death.
    ______

    Daniel by Elton John, another great song.

  47. The Dido song linked by Chases Eagles would seem to be very close to what neo was looking for but to my ear it is so boring and not particularly moving at all. Dido was never my cup of tea but at least ‘Thank You’ had a decent melody to it.

  48. Well, it’s not about the death of a loved one, but it is about death, or presumed death…

    1971’s Timothy, by The Buoys:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqDu5LBT8_Y

    It’s a very macabre song, particularly for such an upbeat musical arrangement. It does kinda fit the song, the driving beat matches the demanding aspect of the song, so it does work. But it’s a pretty unique kind of song, I think.

  52. Thank you Kevin, we must not forget the hostess that makes this blog the wonderful place it is……..Thank you Neo!

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