Home » Today is the first anniversary of Gerard Vanderleun’s death

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Today is the first anniversary of Gerard Vanderleun’s death — 40 Comments

  1. As has happened to all before, and will happen to us. Rest in Peace. How are you holding up Neo?

    I hope the book stuff looks promising.

  2. So sorry for your loss, neo. I too recently suffered the loss of someone very close to me. I too took a hat as a memento.

    By the way, I recognize the bottle. My German mother-in-law used that company’s perfume. The perfume is, 4711, “echt Kölnisch Wasser” from Köln, Deutschland. However, most of us know the city and it’s eponymous famous export from the city’s French speaking history, Cologne. And, as huxley and PA Cat will tell you, “eau de Cologne” is French for “Kölnisch Wasser.”

    Personally I prefer the city’s other, famous product made from its “eau.” Kölsch beer.

  3. Turtler:

    Thanks. I’m okay but not great. As for the book, it’s coming along. I’m at the stage of deciding what printing company to use and what type of paper, and that sort of thing. Those are topics about which Gerard knew a lot, having been in publishing, but about which I’m a neophyte. I’m enlisting the help of a friend of his and mine who knows more about it. The whole thing takes a lot more time than I thought!

  4. The cologne of Gerard’s that you kept has a long and interesting history. When it was first made in the 1790s it was consumed as a remedy for various ailments as well as being applied as perfume. In Finland for many years 4711 was the phone number for their poison center as some there apparently overindulged in drinking it. And during the 2nd world war, prodigious amounts were supplied to sailors on the German subs to keep things smelling sweet.
    I also remember my grandmother always had a bottle of it in the powder room.

  5. Thanks again for all you do here. Please do let us know once the book is ready for sale – print and / or electronic. Here’s one firm order right here.

    I recently visited the site americandigest.org and read — again — a few of his essays after probably at least 9 months not doing so. I was struck by the quality and depth of his writing. I will say it again, in my humble opinion, the “The Name in the Stone” is the single best essay I have ever found, and I have read a great deal in my 70+ years.

    Can I ask where Miss Olive, the cat, found a home? If that was mentioned somewhere earlier, I apologize, but I can’t recall it.

  6. Tough year, and he was irreplaceable. Experience of loss teaches me that time does not heal, precisely, but it does make the wound less raw and the possibility of seeing the light still in your life more frequent. I pray for this.

  7. “At play in the Fields of the Lord. You will see him again.” IrishOtter49

    Yes and for those at play in the Fields of the Lord, it will seem to them to have been just a moment before those they left behind are with them once again.

  8. Very sorry for your loss. My family has connections to Paradise, CA, and I remember Gerard’s dynamite story. Since we lived near a military reservation growing up, it reminded me of some hair-raising events from my childhood.

  9. At play in the Fields of the Lord.

    –IrishOtter49

    I thought it was from Dylan Thomas, or failing that, the Bible.

    Google assures me it is the title of a 1965 Peter Matthiessen novel. Some on the web say it goes back to references to Christ’s parable of the laborers in the field.

    Chat hallucinates it’s a reference to this verse from Psalms:
    __________________________________________

    I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments.

    –Psalms 119:176
    __________________________________________

    Chat does that sometimes.

    Turning on the Bat Signal for AesopFan!

  10. Here’s the Dylan Thomas I was reminded of:
    ______________________________________

    So it must have been after the birth of the simple light
    In the first, spinning place, the spellbound horses walking warm
    Out of the whinnying green stable
    On to the fields of praise.

    –Dylan Thomas, “Fern Hill” (1945)
    https://poets.org/poem/fern-hill

    ______________________________________

    Close but no cigar. However, “Fern Hill” is a poem which changed my life. Rereading it, I am again moved and for my part offer the final verse as a memorial to Gerard:
    ______________________________________

    Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me
    Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand,
    In the moon that is always rising,
    Nor that riding to sleep
    I should hear him fly with the high fields
    And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
    Oh as I was young and easy in the mercy of his means,
    Time held me green and dying
    Though I sang in my chains like the sea.

    –Dylan Thomas, “Fern Hill” (1945)

  11. I don’t know the ultimate source of “At play in the Fields of the Lord.”

    No matter. It comforts me as is. It fills me with a sense of the Transcendent.

    I regularly pray for the welfare of all animals, living and dead and/or extinct . . . back to the Beginning.

    Especially I pray for my dogs who have passed over Rainbow Bridge. I pray with certainty that they are at play in the fields of the Lord (e.g., herding sheep) and waiting for me to join them.

    When I see them again, it will be forever.

  12. huxley –

    Thanks. I was not familiar with that poem. You’re right. Tissues were needed.

  13. We lost a great one. Thanks, Neo, for keeping the memory alive and the book, too. Take care of yourself.

  14. A year has passed since Gerard left us? Time is passing much too quickly in my dotage.

    Wonderful to hear the book is coming along. Gerad’s memory will always be with us as long as his well-crafted words can be read. Bless you for doing that, Neo. You’re an amazing person.

  15. Having followed AD for quite a long time I definitely sensed an evolution of transcendence in Gerard’s life. “At play in the fields of the Lord”. Yes!

  16. AesopSpouse and I spent today setting up for, and then attending, the memorial service for a dear friend who passed away last fall.
    The stress of dealing with unfinished business was too much for his wife, coming right before the holidays, and so she deferred the formal farewell to a more propitious time (he was cremated, which is becoming much more common).
    In the process of preparing the service, we learned about many interests we never knew he had.
    During the service, people shared their favorite stories of our friend (who was one month short of his 60th birthday), and it was clear that, even though the mourners could be divided into “groups” who didn’t generally overlap, we all agreed on his basic personality and character, although expressed in different ways according to the group (work, hobby, yoga class, etc.).
    He was smart, funny, generous, and kind.
    Not a bad obituary for any of us.

    Gerard is still missed, and our friend will be missed.
    It is good to have people who will miss you when you are gone.

  17. @ huxley > “Turning on the Bat Signal for AesopFan!”

    I fear my reputation is about to take a big hit, as I am totally unfamiliar with “At play in the Fields of the Lord.”
    However, I do find the title intriguing, so….

    On to the research (Wikipedia, where else?): the film made from the book has the most information, but neither discusses Matthiessen’s choice of title. The author’s page indicates that he was a Buddhist priest (converted in Nepal) and practitioner of Zen, and proponent of the spiritual use of LSD (born in 1927, died in 2014; same age as my mother, who was none of those).

    I was aware of his most famous non-fiction book, although I haven’t read it.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Snow_Leopard

    huxley “I thought it was from Dylan Thomas, or failing that, the Bible.”
    Or else from Shakespeare, because everything seems to be from one of those sources.

    The Bible guess is not too far off; Matthew alone has three parables likening the world to a field, which of course belongs to the Lord.
    Paul says directly: 1 Corinthians 3:9
    “For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building.”

    It might be strange for a Buddhist to use a Christian reference, although Matthiessen, having been raised in New York and Connecticut, might have been raised as one.
    Perhaps there is a Buddhist link that we are missing; however, given the plot, I think the Christian reference is most likely.

    Google did turn up several posts on the topic “at work in the Fields of the Lord”, with the content one would expect.
    One example:
    https://www.workingpreacher.org/dear-working-preacher/at-work-in-the-fields-of-the-lord

    So Matthiessen could have deliberately made a riff on that concept, given that some of the major characters in his books are Christian missionaries working “in the field” in Brazil, among a particular indigenous tribe that is being threatened by other characters for various reasons.

    His characters could be “at play” because some of them were joyful in their work, or because some of them were not serious about their work; or because there were important consequences “at play,” as when a ball is thrown onto the court.

    Some graduate student somewhere probably has a thesis explaining it all.

    One other thing that turned up, among the movie and book references, was a song that I kind of liked (the lyrics, excerpted below, seemed especially relevant to this post).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pstxhnT-RZk
    In the Fields of the Lord – The Porter’s Gate – Lyrics
    by Audrey Assad & Paul Zach

    https://genius.com/The-porters-gate-in-the-fields-of-the-lord-lyrics

    In the fields of the Lord, our work is rest
    He is moving in our hands and feet to bless

    In the vineyards of the Lord, our work is light
    He is tending every leaf and every vine

    In the garden of the Lord, our work is sound
    He is weaving every thorn into a crown

    At the harvest of the Lord, the fields are white
    Oh, He will wipe away the tears from ev’ry eye
    At the harvest of the Lord, at the harvest of the Lord
    At the harvest of the Lord, the fields are white

    May there be blessings of peace in the hearts, minds, and souls of all who mourn for the passing of loved ones.
    They have moved from the Fields of Earth to those of Heaven, where all work is as play, because it is done with joy.

  18. I always think of my border collies, who were all very sick and in pain when they died, running free and joyfully in the Fields of the Lord, diligently herding sheep as God intended them to, and thinking of when I will join them during their restful moments. In each instance I held the dog in my arms and whispered in his/her ear as the moment of their passing; I like to think that the dogs subsequently awoke in glory and splendor in an open sunny field with a flock of sheep standing before them, awaiting their instructions: and that they went right to work, happily and forever.

  19. huxley, that did make me cry. We have an English Springer Spaniel, our third, now probably leaving us in the next year or so, and she will not be replaced.

  20. Good Morning:

    Knowing for certain how that particular phrase was written and by whom is good. Every once in a while an author puts a few words on paper that stand forever. “at play in the fields of the lord” is one of those.

    Those words speak to a greater audience than the smaller phrase that stays with me: “I had a farm in Africa.” The verb tense plants immediate fear. That very short introductory sentence speaks to many women around the world who have struggled to hold on to a small piece of land. They face challenges unique from women in urban areas.

    I have had several good dogs in this life, but I am above all a kitty widow. I held him in my arms for the last time in 2006–he will not be replaced. Here on this planet, he and I crossed into some kind of parallel universe where we fed each other and stood on guard.

    My DH had a beautiful English Spaniel. We enjoyed her company for years.

    Most importantly for today and every day, like others here and on AD I miss Gerard every day. It was the way his words took to the page . . .

    I have only one question for this Sunday morning–where the he&L is the media? There are no stories regarding a “stand off at the border”. For me that says that the RHINOS will make another deal and collapse into their cowardice again.

    Thank you again for sharing Gerard with us.

  21. Be comforted with these words:
    Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
    Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” John 14: 1-7,

  22. Neo: RIP Gerard. Renewed prayers up, for him and for you.

    And thank you for the pic of a very fine hat. That could only fit the head of a very fine man.

  23. My condolences for you and anyone else who knew him personally and those who miss him greatly.

  24. Strange the passage of time, the negative things recede while the positive things are magnified.

  25. I’m too new to give advice/consolation, except this, they have gone on and we’re here.

  26. Re: At Play in the Fields of the Lord

    AesopFan:

    Thanks for the deep dive!

    I’ll take it that Matthiessen was sufficient a wordsmith to put that title together himself and know it was a good one. He was a writer and a reader.

    It seems to me that in the past writers sought titles with gravitas, often with classical allusions — “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” “The Sound and the Fury,” “Ulysses,” “The Grapes of Wrath,” “A Death in the Family,” and so on. Not so much today.

    BTW, I’ll just wheel the Bat Signal back into the garage. I’m sure I’ll need it again…

  27. @ huxley > ” Not so much today.”

    Because readers wouldn’t recognize them.
    Wasn’t there a discussion here recently about some schlub talking about a book or something and never realizing the core was a Biblical quotation?
    Too late at night to look for it —
    Be sure that the Bat Signal doesn’t explode while charging; does it have the same batteries as an Electric Vehicle?

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