Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day
Do you know where your flowers are?
I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person. For one thing, my drafted boyfriend was inducted into the army on that day in 1968. For another – and over thirty years later – my marriage broke up on that day. The latter was completely coincidental and had nothing whatsoever to do with it being Valentine’s Day.
But still.
And because of migraines I can’t eat chocolate! Ever since Christmas, after which the stores start thinking “February 14th,” I’ve had to walk the supermarket aisles loaded with holiday chocolates. I’m inured to it, though. After thirty years of being unable to eat chocolate without getting an almost instant migraine, I’ve accepted that chocolate is simply not part of the category “food” for me.
I just found out I am allergic to chocolate, no overt symptoms, just a massive production of anitbodies.
I have been very happily married for over 30 years but I heartily dislike Valentine’s Day. First of all, it’s such a coercive holiday–all this pressure to make a big show, particularly for men. (If you watch a lot of sports, as I do, it’s nonstop jewelry, flowers, and the like from mid-January on.)
What really turned me against Valentine’s was teaching 20-somethings for 25 years. Watching my students in the classroom, I saw all the stress on them and found it very sad. People not in relationships felt their loneliness, people in relationships were often at different places and that caused a lot of tension. Almost no one seemed happy on the day.
And finally I think you should be loving to your mate day in and day out–show kindness, generosity, and appreciation every day. You’d be amazed at the results if you don’t already do it. (P.S. This is not a first marriage. I am no idealist.)
“What really turned me against Valentine’s was teaching 20-somethings for 25 years.”
Well, I suggest you try (in the next life) teaching 10-somethings for 25 years. They LOVE Valentine’s day.
As for 20–somethings and their “stress” well that’s a full on DGAS from me. 20 somethings are always stressed about having finding getting not having losing being lonely in and other crapola that comes with getting on with the full catastrophe of love.
Everybody goes through it and everybody learns to say, “So what?” In reality a lot of life is confined to sufering of one level or another and a 20-something’s angst over love is pretty much a first world problem.
My allergies won’t allow me to have cut flowers in the house. But I can eat chocolate!
Valentine’s Day is way overrated.
I suggest you try (in the next life) teaching 10-somethings for 25 years. They LOVE Valentine’s day.
They used to. Sadly, a growing number of schools no longer allow Valentine’s Day treats or parties for kids in that age bracket on the grounds that the bi, trans, genderqueer, or non-binary kids (or their parents) feel offended or discriminated against. FWIW, the greeting cards section of my local supermarket now carries valentines for adult gay and lesbian couples. Haven’t seen any for thruples so far, but it’s only a matter of time.
Thankfully, 1) I’m not allergic to chocolate; and 2) Spring Training is underway, which means an end to that plague of winter, Baseball Withdrawal Syndrome.
Hallmark has succeeded in promoting a card giving (required! ) holiday in almost every month of the year. I don’t think there are ones in August or September yet, but I’ve heard that they’ve been working on “Grandparent’s Day”.
Pretty good marketing, I’d say.
I’d also say “to heck with it”…unless you’re so inclined! The only problem I see is if person A cares, and person B doesn’t – and they have some sort of a relationship. That could be a problem!
For those who choose not to celebrate Valentine’s Day and have a problem with a loved one who does, I’d suggest that they make it a point to suggest celebrating by going to Mass – or at least suggesting it. It _is_ the feast of St.Valentine, after all. I have a feeling that that would put a bit of a damper on the flowers and candy bit!
“It _is_ the feast of St.Valentine, after all. ” – SueK
Love your suggestion!
Isn’t it amazing how many American holidays are based on what originally were Christian Holy Days?
And we commemorate the most solemn remembrances with Blowout Sales Week-ends.
Or, for ye profane secularists, blow off mass and spend time luxuriating in the lyric and music of Orff’s “Cours d’Amors” section of the Carmina Burana. Those medieval Benedictine monks knew how to write a mean love poetry, and Orff knew how to set it to a sublime perfection.
Neo, migraines are so odd. My husband gets one every time he drinks California wine. It’s not the sulfites, which are in wine worldwide. It must be something in the soil on the American Left Coast. Wine from anywhere else in the world is okay.
If chocolate gives you an excruciating headache every time, that would soon kill off the longing, I would imagine.
Since we’re old and retired have been married for more than four decades, we ALWAYS eat at home on Valentine’s Day.
We do go out earlier in the week, or the week before, to an expensive restaurant and celebrate when it is convenient and comfortable.
Quite a while ago I was put on warfarin for an autoimmune blood clotting disorder. But, the good part is, besides not dying, it seems to have also stopped my blinding migraines. I can eat chocolate again, and cheese and wine!
Now kale, broccoli and cabbage are the bad guys, since they’re an antidote to warfarin. So of course, of course, I’m craving sauerkraut.
Happy Valentine’s Day, for those who celebrate 😉
Neo, generally migraineurs(I am a life-long fellow traveler)who get headaches from chocolate do so because they are tyramine(an amino acid that is the halfway point between tyrosine and tryptophan) sensitive. Red wine, cheddar cheeses, dark alcohols, cured meats also contain lots of tyramine. Do those affect you as well? Just curious because I’m always fascinated in the sometimes tiny variations and responses in individuals’ migraine “mosaic”. I hope that your suffering is not too great. But take heart! Migraine seems to be a pathology of the intelligent.
In my town, full of fine restaurants, no reservation is to be had for tonight’s dinner! All are totally booked.
Glad to know that I’m not the only one denied chocolate on medical grounds.
Jonathan Pananas:
I don’t drink enough wine to know. I seem to be okay with most cheese except things like blue cheese, and I don’t eat much processed meat either, so I don’t know. My biggest migraine triggers are chocolate, peanuts, dried figs, raisins, and the aforementioned blue cheese. Don’t give me a Reese’s peanut butter cup! Although I used to love them.
If you don’t have a valentine, then February 14 offers another reason to celebrate. February 14 is also the day that Frederick Douglas picked as his birthday. Douglas’ actual birthday was not recorded. So he decided that he would arbitrarily declare it to be the 14th.
Thanks for the information, junior.
Too bad the Left ignores him as much as they do every Catholic saint, unless needed to give cover for some new-found principle that only operates if they can attack a Republican over it.
Still, an added bonus for celebration.
Happy St. Frederick’s Day everyone!
https://constitutioncenter.org/blog/the-story-behind-the-frederick-douglass-birthday-celebration
Chocolate: not a big fan, like my wife and daughters are, but I do enjoy. Especially the modern varieties that include peppers and salt and all sorts of stuff. And the Mexican rough types too.
But I have just been through a withdrawal from the use of an anti-depressant, which went very well… until I had one of my infrequent goodly-sized portions of chocolate!
Yipes! I woke up at 2-am and my brain was racing! I had to correct the damned never-Trumpers, and I rehearsed my speech endlessly until dawn.
I exhausted myself, and then over the next day, I crashed into a hopelessness about COVID-19 and the destruction of the President!
He rescued us all this afternoon, but for me… no more chocolate!
Ray Van Dune:
I think you’re describing how a lot of us have been feeling, even without chocolate or medication withdrawal.