Celebrity suicide (Spade, Bourdain), and suicide rates in general
There have been two suicides of prominent celebrities in the news in the past few days: Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. I’ll talk about them a bit later in this post, but I want to start with something more general—this news of an across-the-board rise in the suicide rate:
Suicide rates rose in all but one state between 1999 and 2016, with increases seen across age, gender, race and ethnicity, according to a report released Thursday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. In more than half of all deaths in 27 states, the people had no known mental health condition when they ended their lives.
In North Dakota, the rate jumped more than 57 percent. In the most recent period studied (2014 to 2016), the rate was highest in Montana, at 29.2 per 100,000 residents, compared with the national average of 13.4 per 100,000.
Only Nevada recorded a decline ”” of 1 percent ”” for the overall period, although its rate remained higher than the national average.
Increasingly, suicide is being viewed not only as a mental health problem but a public health one. Nearly 45,000 suicides occurred in the United States in 2016 ”” more than twice the number of homicides ”” making it the 10th-leading cause of death. Among people ages 15 to 34, suicide is the second-leading cause of death.
The most common method used across all groups was firearms.
I don’t quite know what to make of this. An explanation such as the recession, which may in fact be accountable for some small part of the increase, doesn’t really cut it in my book as an overall explanation. I have a gut feeling that it has something to do with a general societal reduction in the sense of community, and a weakening of the prohibition (religious or otherwise) against taking one’s own life, but I simply don’t know and don’t have empirical evidence to back me up.
The increase is highest in white males. That makes perfect sense, considering that they are now fair game for verbal attack as well as being passed over in the job arena more often than in the past in favor of other preferred groups.
An increase in substance abuse involving opioids is certainly part of the picture, as the article acknowledges. And the rates for female suicide are rising too, which is troubling and gives the lie to the idea that women’s lives are more satisfying as their equality—and even dominance, in some cases—in society advances.
Kate Spade’s recent suicide is an example of this. I didn’t follow her fashion career and didn’t know anything about her bags except that there was someone named Kate Spade who made high-end handbags. But the coverage of her death by suicide has highlighted the problem of female suicide. Spade’s death also highlights a fact I think is important in understanding the rise of suicide rates in females, which is that they are increasingly using more lethal methods of suicide instead of the traditional female approach, pills, which is iffier and tends to leave more suicide attempt survivors.
The fact that female suicide has risen does not mean it begins to approach the rate of male suicide, which has long been higher and remains higher. The difference in male and female suicide rates has always been at least partially attributable to the difference in method chosen:
There are different rates of completed suicides and suicidal behavior between males and females. While women more often have suicidal thoughts, men die by suicide more frequently. This is also known as the gender paradox in suicide.
Globally, death by suicide occurred about 1.8 times more often among males than among females in 2008, and 1.7 times in 2015. In the western world, males die by suicide three to four times more often than do females. This greater male frequency is increased in those over the age of 65. Suicide attempts are between two and four times more frequent among females. Researchers have attributed the difference between attempted and completed suicides among the sexes to males using more lethal means to end their lives.
Of course, rates of suicide depend on how much actual suicide is reported as such. The difference among countries, and/or increases or decreases in rates within a country or between genders, might have more to do with reporting issues and reporting changes than actual shifts of rates. As the stigma of suicide declines, are more suicides reported as such when they used to be covered up?
Chef, TV star, and author Anthony Bourdain’s suicide seems even more puzzling than Spade’s. She is reported to have suffered from depression, as did did Bourdain, but there’s no report of recent relationship problems in his life although there were some in hers (separated from husband). He had a history of drug addiction, but that was apparently in the past, although he still drank. How much, and how honest he was about all of that, I haven’t a clue, but he lived a fast-paced life. He’d been divorced about two years ago, but had a beautiful girlfriend.
Both Spade and Bourdain were in late middle age (55 and 61, respectively). That can be rough territory, but both seemed to have enviable lives. Both had daughters (13 and 11) who will almost undoubtedly bear a heavy heavy burden. People say that potential suicides should think about their families, but of course they mostly do, and that can keep them from suicide for a long long time. But suicide by hanging (both of them apparently used that method) is probably often an impulsive act. It requires little planning—just solitude and items everyone has around the house—and therefore lends itself to a sudden and seemingly overwhelming urge. Usually (at least, this is my impression), the person has found life so intensly painful that it feels almost literally unendurable, and that is the impetus for the act. The person may deeply love his or her family and children, but that becomes background to the intensity of the pain and the desperate feeling of need to escape.
RIP. Suicide is a terrible thing, and very terrible for survivors.
I will close with a famous poem that seems especially apropos. It was written in 1897, which shows you that this is not a recent phenomenon:
Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.And he was rich ”“ yes, richer than a king ”“
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
[ADDENDUM: I am pretty sure that some commenters on this post will suggest that anti-depressants were involved in or even caused the deaths of Spade or Bourdain or both, as well as being implicated in the more general rise in suicides. That’s a common internet meme, but there’s poor evidence for it, something that has been discussed on this blog before, most notably here (see also this).
It’s also important to note that although the suicide rates have been rising lately they are very similar to historic highs. Here’s a chart for the rates in the US from the 1950s till 2015 (I can’t seem to embed it so you’ll have to follow the link), and you can see that suicide rates in the middle to the end of the 20th century were similarly high, and then there was a dip. The present rise seems to be restoring suicide rates to something similar to the older levels. The recent report uses rates from 2015 and 2016, which corresponds pretty much to the chart I just linked.]
Simon & Garfunkel had a song about Richard Cory..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwqwAy85CgY
Richard Cory went home last night.
And put a bullet through his head.
But I-I-I.
I work in his factory.
And I curse the life I’m living,
And I curse my poverty.
And I wish that I could be,
Oh I wish that I could be,
Yes I wish that I could be…
Richard Cory.
Was thinking of this S&G song immediately; say Liz link too.
There was another suicide song, lovely (Art’s voice is truly angelic).
And everybody said,
what a shame that he’s dead, but,
wasn’t he a most peculiar man?
I’d guess suicide is a partial result of serious depression — and I’m sure social media increases depression.
So far, not for me, so I keep reading; but more blogs with thoughts than facebook or twitter (except PDJT).
To be clear — the S&G song is based on Edwin Arlington Robinson’s “Richard Cory” poem.
Paul Simon knew poetry.
Why the increase in suicide? No sure, but maybe… a bit… because:
“The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth’s shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world. “
I don’t think there’s any dishonor in ending one’s own life.
I never heard of Kate Spade but know a bit about Anthony Bourdain from watching one of his TV shows on cable. He’d traipse around the world, filming exotic locations and sampling unusual (and sometimes bizarre) foods.
The persona that came across was an ascerbic, cynical man-of-the-world with a strongly multicultural, and generally left-leaning, outlook. It was mildly entertaining, but I got tired of it — especially as he became increasingly overt and bitter about his leftist worldview.
Conservatives are fond of saying that politics is religion for those on the left. IMHO, there is much truth to this, and I suspect it applied to Bourdain. But just imagine what a poor, unsatisfying substitute the ridiculous hurly-burly of current politics is for a enduring foundation based on a set of consistent philosophical principles and/or a strong religious faith.
Neo’s previous post quoted Stephen Hicks on postmodernism, which IMHO is the nihilistic heart of current leftism, a powerful acid that dissolves fundamental beliefs, leaving only the meager satisfaction of fleeting politics:
For people who truly believe the above, is it any wonder they might despair and decide they’d seen enough of this ugly, pointless world?
From a piece in the NY Post written a couple of days ago by a writer whose father committed suicide: “…think of the survivors”:
Okay, 4th time trying to write a comment, a couple of glasses of wine later. I have had a close relative commit suicide and leave young kids behind, other friends and it is so damn hard on them. Lots of reason to cash in and so more many to stay in the game because we are all on this earth for a very short time. Love your family, cherish your friends and stay and watch the end of the movie until they turn up the lights. That’s All Folks !
FWIW — I grew up in what psychologists call a “suicide cluster.” My mother, father, stepfather, and aunt committed suicide. Later a cousin and a college roommate.
Except for my stepfather they were all unhappy, depressed people who couldn’t see a way forward. I find it hard to blame them except I think they gave up too soon.
My stepfather was a psychopath with a brain tumor he couldn’t get around. In his suicide letter he plagiarized a lot of Nietzsche to justify what a cruel person he had been.
The devastation of suicide for the left-behind became pretty routine for me. I have zero sentimentality for their deaths.
It’s tragic that so many do choose death over life. Life is not always easy, and demons can tear at the fabric of our reason.
Every person, no matter the outward appearances of success or well being, is wrestling with their personal issues. There is far more psychic pain and suffering than we know. Which always suggest to me that to be kind to others is never a bad thing, even when not appreciated or returned. It may not prevent a suicide, but you never know.
I can not imagine feeling so depressed that I feel taking my own life is the only solution. As OldTexan notes, suicide is a deep tragedy for the surviving family and friends. I understand Bourdain is survived by a young daughter; this will haunt her for many years.
huxley:
I am so sorry you had to deal with so much.
neo: Thanks.
It’s hard to know what to say. Those things happened, they were hard and I got over.
My fortune is I’ve always been attracted to “tough love” teachers — Ayn Rand, Fritz Perls, Ram Dass, Stephen Gaskin, Werner Erhard, Robert Anton Wilson and Tony Robbins — who told me, “It’s on you, baby. You are responsible. You don’t like it? Make it better.”
I think a lot of young guys are hearing that from Jordan Peterson today.
Without judgement I will say that I simply don’t understand suicide. It has never occurred to me as a means to address a problem. My life, and all that is in it, is of utmost importance. I just can’t imagine how it must feel to think ending my life is a solution.
These actions by Spade and Bourdain and Cornell and Williams and all the others are sad, for them and especially their family and loved ones.
Which brings us to the other disclosure, that middle- aged white guys are dying at ever increasing rates–so much so that they’re bringing down our nation’s life expectancy averages.* But the thing is, they’re killing themselves slowly, so they don’t register as suicides.
* Damn those middle-aged white guys!
Until her death, I never heard of Kate Spade. But, reading about her in the local New York paper I loved learning that she started her purse business by emptying her 401K of the $6,000 she had saved. That was the “seed money” she used to build that huge business. wow!
Huxley, I’m so sorry.
There have been several suicides in my large extended family, though nothing nearly so hard as Huxley’s experience. Maybe one of the worst was a cousin who shot himself in middle age, not long after he lost his job when the plant where he had worked moved out of the US. He was sure he’d never work again and would be a burden to his family. Classically, he’d just started taking antidepressants that seemed to be working. He left behind children who were in high school when this happened. They are adults now, extraordinarily courageous young things who are managing somehow to thrive, but only by enormous effort. What happened to their dad is present in every single thing that happens to them, and will be throughout the rest of their lives. Grief mixed with fury and abandonment and betrayal and sad understanding and bewilderment and just plain missing him, an impossible tangle of feelings to sort out. He was a good and loving dad before this happened. I want to reach into the ether and find him and shake him, show him these beautiful young women and what he meant to them and what he could have saved them from if he could have managed to hang on just a little longer. I do understand, in part, how wretched and desperate he must have been, or I think I do. But I cannot understand how he could have done this to his children, or how Kate Spade could have done what she did to her daughter. I have children and I know what I am to them, and I just can’t understand it. If you have children, you just cannot do this to them. No matter how much you hurt, it is going to hurt them more.
We have a long trend of declining community. Single parent households are common. Divorce is common. Families have one or two kids not four. Church attendance and membership are way down. People no longer live in the county they were born in and in which relatives lived.
What keeps people sane are family, community and religion.
I don’t know your opinion about euthanasia for the terminally ill, but, to my mind, people suffering severe and chronic depression after treatment with all of the available medications, from SRI to MAOI, perhaps a few rounds of ECT, and whatever other therapies are out there, not unreasonably see themselves as terminally ill. They are not getting better.
From my own experience… (Not a call for help or sympathy, only an explanation of what it feels like at its worst.)
My depression can be likened to an auto-immune disease where instead of the body attacking itself, the mind does. Unrelenting, unceasingly attacking, accusing, denigrating.
The difficulty is getting the mind to change or at least be distracted. For some, therapy or drugs may help. For others, these do not. Having someone say to you, “Don’t you know that isn’t true?” does not work since my mind “knows” its reality. Instead try saying, “I know you have worth to me.” This gives a different perspective that doesn’t force my mind to believe something else.
Depression also has physical manifestations. In the depths, I could feel a physical force pressing down. If I was laying down in bed, I felt that I was being pressed into the mattress where it could almost encompass me. A very curious sensation. Aches and pains are common also.
Drugs and alcohol do nothing to help and mainly hurt, amplifying the symptoms. Some types of music can lessen the noise but never silences the mind.
If you know someone who is suffering from this depression, perhaps this method can help. Don’t ask them what they believe or know. Tell them what YOU believe and know. Tell them, “I know you are loveable and I love you. I know you have worth to me. I know you matter to me.”
People saying things in this way has helped me in the ways that I think. Hopefully, the same way may help those who you care and love. (Again, not searching for complements or affirmations, just letting you know of a possible way to assist others in your lives.)
Is the increasing incidence of suicide only in the US, or is it worldwide?
To JJ’s point, and amplifying eeyore’s comment, yesterday on twitter people were talking about what had helped them in the past, and sometimes it’s the smallest things. Just someone asking if you’re okay, or handing you some kleenex when you’re crying, can make all the difference in someone making it through the day. Kindness matters.
(the edit feature is back)
eeyore, thank you very much for sharing your perspective. I’ve struggled with milder depression all my lie, enough to have some small, vague hint of how harrowing the full-scale experience must be. But I can’t really quite comprehend it, of course — maybe in the way that the pain of burning your finger suggests but doesn’t come close to conveying what it might be like to be burned alive. It helps to be reminded that the worst thing about depression is that it happens to the very mind and perceptions of the sufferer, and to hear from someone who’s been there about a way to reach the person trapped inside.
On an unrelated point, for Neo’s information: the autofill of commenter information has been gone for me for a while now, although the editing function is back. I use Chrome.
Huxley,
Congratulations on getting past that trauma. You are likely a stronger person than I.
Mr. Frank said:
“We have a long trend of declining community. Single parent households are common. Divorce is common. Families have one or two kids not four. Church attendance and membership are way down. People no longer live in the county they were born in and in which relatives lived.
What keeps people sane are family, community and religion.”
A lot of truth there, I think. Once upon a time, my wife and I moved away from our hometown for career reasons (hers) and while our home was nice and the kids liked the house (they were too young for school), we missed our hometown and close family.
When we moved back a few years later and the kids started going to the same small elementary school that I attended (with some of the same teachers still teaching) and my parents and her parents lived only a few blocks away, it just felt right again.
We go to the same church I had first communion in (the priest who baptized me only retired last year: he’s 93) 30+ years ago.
Family (good, stable family), Community (my kids riding their bikes on the same streets and blocks that I did) and Faith (more important as I get older) are a balm to the soul.
I appreciated all the comments – and very wise advice – but am surprised this went unmentioned; too cliche, perhaps?
“It’s a Wonderful Life is a 1946 American Christmas fantasy comedy-drama film produced and directed by Frank Capra, based on the short story and booklet The Greatest Gift, which Philip Van Doren Stern wrote in 1939 and published privately in 1945.[3]
The film stars James Stewart as George Bailey, a man who has given up his dreams in order to help others, and whose imminent suicide on Christmas Eve brings about the intervention of his guardian angel, Clarence Odbody (Henry Travers). Clarence shows George all the lives he has touched and how different life in his community of Bedford Falls would be if he had never been born.”
LDS Young Women recite the following Theme every Sunday, and try to incorporate its teachings in their lives. I hope it is helping, as it touches on several of the comments here.
“We will “stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are: Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue.”
OldTexan Says:
June 8th, 2018 at 6:50 pm
…Love your family, cherish your friends and stay and watch the end of the movie until they turn up the lights. That’s All Folks !
* * *
“Everything will be all right in the end. If it’s not all right, it’s not the end.”
Mrs Whatsit, Fractal Rabbit:
Thanks.
I’ve been far enough gone into depression to reach the suicidal ideation stage. Given my background, I was terrified.
Depression physically hurts and one’s sleep is often shot to hell — in addition to the well-known, negative mental distortions. I don’t know how I would have stood up if it had gone on for several years.
The best stuff I did was regular, strenuous physical exercise and some Tony Robbins seminars.
Tony is not magic. A key component of his training is to use the body to drive emotions. Smile, jump up and down, clap. Listen to strong, positive music. Look for ways to feel love and gratitude. Find ways to contribute. It sounds stupid but with practice, it becomes habit and it makes a difference.
I’m still kinda twitchy, but I can right my boat when I have to.
________________________________________________
And the days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days.
–Ray Wylie Hubbard
https://vimeo.com/82331615