I got some spam email in my mailbox that began this way:

Who I am? Shiny green eyes, twenty two years…

It went on to catalogue her other enticing body parts—“C cup,” for example, which I would have thought was considered relatively meager these days. It was signed with a woman’s name like “Brandy” or “Candy” or “Natasha” or “Vanessa” whatever the porn name du jour might be.

But after I’d deleted it, I kept wondering about those shiny green eyes. Not “shining,” mind you, but “shiny.” Was this an extra-terrestrial come-on? Or perhaps she was offering—true love?

:

I have to say that till I wrote this post I’d never heard of this song or the group that sings it, The Kelly Family. They seem to be awfully popular in Europe, which tells you something about European pop music tastes. Please try to forgive me if this gives you a very disagreeable earworm.