Here’s a new book for parents of children declaring themselves to be trans
It’s one that can be helpful for all parents, including those who are not willing to unquestionably “affirm” their child’s choice. Most books today on the subject encourage parents to do the latter; this book is by two therapists who are podcasters at “A Wider Lens” on YouTube and they are generally excellent. I’ve watched many of their videos and so far every one has been good.
Here’s the Amazon link to the book, which is called Is My Child Trans?: A Guide for Parents. It will be available in October.
Here’s a podcast in which the authors describe the book:
“Is My Child…a Cat, a Dog, a Giraffe, Invisible, etc.?”
The world has gone mad.
Yancey Ward:
Listen to some of the podcast. I’ve cued it up for where they start describing the book. It’s vitally needed as a corrective to the automatic affirmation model.
But yes, it often feels like the world has gone mad these days.
If I was a parent of small children, I would buy this book because of the present environment.
In a world gone bonkers, it certainly is desirable to have some kind of guide. The trans explosion seems like it is a pandemic of some kind of mental virus. It’s uncharted territory for normal parents. Good information could help a lot.
JJ,
If I was a parent of a small child, I would homeschool and/or send my kids to private, religious schools. I would not allow them to have unsupervised access to the Internet until their teens, and even then I’d have parental controls in their browsers.
JJ – It’s uncharted territory for normal parents.
The great difficulty for normal people, parents or not, is the social deluge against all things normal. And that’s not as uncharted as we might believe.
Ground your family in the Biblical moral spiritual worldview and you’ll find yourself on solid ground and as Rufus suggests… don’t give the destructive influences a foothold. It has always been thus.
John Guilfoyle; Rufus:
I have been struck by how many transitioners and detransitioners report that they were raised in religious homes, most definitely including Christian religious homes and sometimes strict ones. I’m not saying that grounding children in one’s own values is a bad idea, or that it leads to increased transition, but it does not necessarily have a protective function. Children sometimes are moved to do the opposite and to defy the teachings of their parents.
Neo… I’ll assume for the sake of argument we agree that this world is corrupted in all its arms and flourishes, and therefore all are likely to succumb to “there is none who does good. No not one.” So there aren’t assured outcomes among humans.
But when people of persistent Biblical faith stand firm and push back with truth against lie and faith & hope against nihilism & random futility (which I concede the church has not done well in my lifetime or longer) they see the fruit of their labors. To the 3rd and 4th generations? Maybe maybe not. But I stake my claim on the destiny I’ve been promised and others can make their own choices…And I will unflinchingly advocate for what I trust is best.
Neo I think you have hit on something that should be explored. Yes, children often, maybe even ‘usually’ rebel against their parents, and their parent’s values. But what is different about our modern era, is that there is an entire skill set that has been developed to facilitate the exploitation of that rebelling. Adults pushing the groomer’s agendas stand ready to identify this behavior, and then move quickly to step in and begin guiding the child deeper into their rebellion, shaping it into the things we are seeing, the trans/queer/gay/etc lifestyles. It would seem that it happens most often within the school systems. Never before has this kind of behavior been allowed, even defended, in the schools as it is today.
I believe this is the next step that should evolve in the parent’s protective toolbox: Recognizing that the child is coming into their own sense of identity, and taking steps to ensure that this new self-awareness is supported in a positive traditional way, and kept whole – before the groomers step in. And also to be on the lookout for the subversive, intrusive tactics of adults that want to guide the child into these other lifestyles, some of them very destructive.
Often parents are shocked and dismayed to find that their child has begun voicing these things that they’ve been groomed to mimic, and feel helpless – disenfranchised by the system – to fight back. And as we have seen, some states even place parents at a legal disadvantage when it come to taking defensive action. Parents need the tools to make themselves aware and also empowered to correct the course before irreversible damage is done. Thanks for putting this out there.
Rufus, your advice about schools and the internet use is well taken. It would be a challenge because the phones and internet are so ubiquitous.
We lived in a cabin in the mountains during much of our kids’ formative years. No TV. No close neighbors. A long bus ride to school and home. They learned to do things in the outdoors (hike, trout fish, camp, climb rocks, ski, gather firewood, and build things) and read – lots of books. We opted for that life because we had seen the cities of California and didn’t like what we saw – although nowhere near as bad as today, they weren’t our cup of tea even then. It was a good choice for us.
I’m not a devout Christian, but I am a believer in the teachings of Jesus. A bit of a contradiction, but I have always been confused by all the various interpretations of the Bible. How did we get so many denominations of Christianity? It seems to be because different people read the Bible and interpret it differently. So, I’m not going to argue with anyone about what they believe on strong faith. If it works for you, more power to you. What works for me probably wouldn’t work for someone else.
What I mean by uncharted territory is the sudden rise of the trans movement. It’s always been there. Most of us either didn’t know anything about it or ignored it as not being relevant to our lives. Suddenly, if you are a parent today, it’s very relevant to your life. The more information we have about an issue like this, the better to deal with it. I have seen enough heartache, hard feelings, and broken relationships when parents and children were at odds over much lesser issues. Being a parent is the most important thing we will ever do. Anything that can help parents successfully guide their children to adulthood is worthwhile.
Aggie:
Yes. There is a whole trans industry out there. Sometimes it grabs hold when the child is very young, sometimes later. Many parents – even ones who have raised their children with very traditional values – are blindsided. This book sounds really good and really practical, and includes the stories of parents who helped their children to finally detransition, or to not go that far in the first place. The more a parent understands about the forces arrayed by activists to bring the child into the trans world, the better.
Neo: your recommendation of the book makes sense. Maybe it provides some confidence to the reader (about the way the larger world is arranged, what is ephemeral or distracting and what is implacably and fatally real). And maybe it offers tactical advice about how to help one’s child avoid the traps and allurements, how to push back or deflect the evil enticements.
That said, I would prefer a more proactive approach where the transgrifters are stopped before they start.
Neo: “…the more a parent understands the forces arrayed by activists to bring the child into the trans world…”
That is some frightening wording right there. From my (childish? simplistic?) point of view, it reads as “right-minded families surrounded by evildoers, and their most vulnerable members –teenagers– hopelessly exposed to the concentrated and coordinated and sophisticated weapons of the evildoers.”
Why is nobody going after the activists? Incentives matter, especially with something as evil as this.
I expect the book to be banned, and slandered.
Just as the movie Sound of Freedom has been.
The book sounds even handed, but in a culture fight, that does not matter.
From my (childish? simplistic?) point of view, it reads as “right-minded families surrounded by evildoers, and their most vulnerable members –teenagers– hopelessly exposed to the concentrated and coordinated and sophisticated weapons of the evildoers.”
Owen…I wouldn’t call that childish or simplistic. I’d say you’re pretty spot on and this book seems a useful resource for thoughtful parents.
I’m certainly going to add it to my library.
This new book for parents makes me wonder whether there is a similar written resource for adults whose partners suddenly decide that they are trans. Given the recent cultural focus on transgenderism, it would be surprising if some susceptible adults aren’t led down the same path of transitioning as children now are, by the same crowd of groomers, grifters, and “influencers.”
One major difference, though, is that from what I could find, most adults who think they are trans are men who identify as women, and most of the partners who are hurt when the trans person leaves the marriage or relationship are women. There is a website that (judging from the British spelling of some words) is located in the UK for “trans widows.”
“A trans widow is a woman (usually heterosexual) whose male partner or husband believes that they have a gender identity other than ‘man’ or who cross dresses. Often women also report having experienced that their husband or partner has autogynephilia (AGP). Women in this situation report feeling like their male partner has died. This is particularly the case if their partner or husband came out as trans’ and decided to transition. The transformation is usually so complete that their partner is unrecognisable as the man they married, both in looks and in personality. The woman will be forbidden from calling her husband by his previous ‘dead name.'”
https://www.transwidowsvoices.org/
The website contains a number of accounts of trans widows’ experiences (I don’t know whether there is a similar website for “trans widowers”). While it is easy to say that adults should have the freedom to transition if they wish, given that they are not children, the disruption caused to entire families (to the transitioner’s parents and adult siblings as well as to his former wife and biological children) can be horrendous. We are only beginning to recognize the full social consequences of trans ideology.
Related:
She wallops another tape measure home run…right out of the park (and past the parking lot):
From the “Who Knew That Heather Mac Donald Had a Sense of Humor?” File…
“The Comely Face of Western Self-Cancellation”—
https://www.city-journal.org/article/miss-netherlands-is-the-face-of-western-self-cancellation
+ Bonus (well, not really…TRIGGER WARNING IN EFFECT!!)…
“Weirdo Ex-Biden Official Sam Brinton Was On Secret Taxpayer-Funded Trip At Time Of Luggage Theft”—
https://blazingcatfur.ca/2023/07/17/weirdo-ex-biden-official-sam-brinton-was-on-secret-taxpayer-funded-trip-at-time-of-luggage-theft/
More trans stuff.
Last week, at his substack, Chris Rufo published a video entitled “The Transgender Empire: How the Trans Movement Conquered American Life” (https://youtu.be/Xwsekb5QReo).
Despite a production style that mimics heavy-handed political campaign commercials, the video’s content is solid. In a quick twelve minutes, Rufo outlines some of the intellectual, financial, political, and medical origins of the trans movement. Well worth the time.
JJ,
Regarding all the different religious sects grounded in the old and/or new testament; it’s people. It’s hard enough to get three people to agree on where to go to dinner. Now try it with a 1,000 + page book. 🙂
Kudos to you and your wife in how you raised your children! It sounds like a wonderful upbringing.
I think often about my parents; two young children coincident with the summer of love, MLK assassination, JFK and Bobby assassinations, race riots, Woodstock, Vietnam conflict, every song on the radio encouraging drug use, a sudden appearance of new drugs that were causing despair, death and destruction yet embraced by the elite, including educators at Harvard…
This gender stuff is awful and it’s insidious to force such a culture on developing youth, but I’m not sure this is such a unique time.
Indeed, there have been other ages where insanity and evil were widespread, but as has been noted, these days it seems to be driven from the top—“the Best and the Brightest”(TM)—down, with no respite, no refuge, nowhere to hide….
“Czeslaw Milosz and the deep vein of loss”—
https://www.thearticle.com/czeslaw-milosz-and-the-deep-vein-of-loss
+ Bonus
“Robert Nisbet’s The Present Age 35 Years Later;
“The conservative critic warned against useless foreign wars, the imperial presidency, centralized bureaucracy, and cultural decadence.”—
https://spectator.org/robert-nisbet-the-present-age-35-years-later/
H/T Powerline blog.
Barry,
“…these days it seems to be driven from the top…”
The Vietnam “conflict,” MK Ultra, Tuskegee “Study,” Japanese internment, Kennedy assassination, Tet offensive, the Edmund Pettus bridge, thalidomide, LBJ’s “Great” society, the food pyramid…
“…but I’m not sure this is such a unique time.”
-Rufus at 0948.
I hope that Rufus is correct, but my fear is that the people behind all of this are smart enough to know that they have no option other than to recruit new members by deception and social coercion. There is a lot of overlap between these people, the abortion industry and the never-gonna-reproduce because they can’t or won’t do what leads to reproduction. The trans people are essentially all sterile, whether due to hormones or surgery, so they know that Job #1 is to recruit.
I was in high school during the late 60s. While free love and free drugs were the transgression of the time, these activities were also a lot of fun. It was a lot easier to recruit then. Now they have to work harder, and get their recruits earlier. They are succeeding.
Indeed, but the policy mistakes then, or madness if you will, did not seem to be as ALL-CONSUMING, VORACIOUS, or MULTI-DIMENSIONAL…as that instigated by our very own Neo-Bolsheviks today.
“Why is nobody going after the activists? Incentives matter, especially with something as evil as this.”
People are going after the activists. There has been a sudden surge in awareness by the population at large of this issue, and there’s been a lot of pushback.
The problems are –
1.). The pushback isn’t universal. A lot of people are supporting the trans activists to be “nice”.
2.). The Powers That Be are heavily invested in this for some reason. Nearly the full force of the left’s power structure (including the media) is invested in pushing this agenda, lionizing and protecting activists, and making it impossible for parents to interfere. Things are so absurd that one school board recently announced it was continuing with it’s LGBTQ agenda pushing even though a poll indicated that 84% of the parents in the school district were opposed. Even some Republicans are looking the other way on this.
This movement is a cross between the Chinese Cultural Revolution and the agenda of the Sodom and Gomorrah visitors welcoming committees.
Back when I was school age the teachers constantly warned us against child molesters. Now the teachers ARE the child molesters.
Rufus T. points out many of the cultural shocks and problems that occurred from the 1960s on. It does interest me that such things occurred, and we managed to move on without devolving into a dystopia.
However, we didn’t have the internet and phones that are, in effect, computers. Nor did we have social media. Social media acts like a typhoid Mary, spreading these mental viruses more efficiently than anyone could have imagined. I think that’s one major difference today. Another is the mostly biased, partisan MSM.
Stopping the activists? Direct action will be called fascist, transphobic, tyrannical, or worse. The battlefield is tilted in the activists’ favor. Having parents better informed and organizing parent groups to obstruct/cancel school programs that introduce trans ideas is where the battle must go.
Chris Rufo has a book (America’s Cultural Revolution: How the Radical Left Conquered Everything) coming out in days on this. And I second Cornflour’s advice to watch his video.
(https://youtu.be/Xwsekb5QReo).
@JJ:Social media acts like a typhoid Mary, spreading these mental viruses
“A catchy idea isn’t an object that will just let you put it down, it’s a slippery, multi-tentacled monster that wants nothing more than to crawl in your brain, grab the levers of motivation and speech, and use you to spread itself to others. Anyone entering the octopus-wrestling arena needs to take proper care.”
“Social media acts like a typhoid Mary, spreading these mental viruses more efficiently than anyone could have imagined.”
On the other hand, it’s also serving as a spotlight on the problem. Many of those involved seem to be obsessed with bragging about how they’re pulling the wool over the eyes of those who might object (particularly parents) or finding ways to bypass rules specifically set in place to block what they’re doing.
Neo, like you I am fascinated by the trans phenomenon. It literally is NON SENSE, and yet here we are.The impetus for this mind game – the hatred of mankind,
God’s beloved creation – goes back to the beginning of time. And I am not at all sure our modern weapons of logic and reason have the power to defeat it.
‘By the pricking of my thumbs…’
Might be time to get out the garlic and crucifix.
@ PA Cat > “While it is easy to say that adults should have the freedom to transition if they wish, given that they are not children, the disruption caused to entire families (to the transitioner’s parents and adult siblings as well as to his former wife and biological children) can be horrendous. We are only beginning to recognize the full social consequences of trans ideology.”
It’s hard to fight the activists when they comprise the entire government.
https://notthebee.com/article/british-government-prosecutors-say-spouses-who-refuse-to-pay-for-husband-or-wifes-gender-surgery-could-face-domestic-abuse-charges
https://www.thenewneo.com/2023/07/10/the-brits-are-contemplating-making-parental-failure-to-cooperate-with-transition-a-form-of-child-abuse/#comment-2688332
Always nice to have options….
“Transgender man stops testosterone to get pregnant with a sperm donor after his partner discovered she couldn’t have children;
“Trans man Caleb Bolden, from Chatteris, stopped testosterone & got pregnant
Read More: Trans man who gave birth says he is being shut-out by LGBTQ”—
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12314273/Transgender-man-stops-testosterone-pregnant-sperm-donor-partner-discovered-children.html