Emmys’ fashion
I watch so little TV that I’ve never heard of 99% of the stars at the 2015 Emmys.
But of course I have to take a look at the women’s dresses. As Tolstoi said, all happy families are alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Apparently something similar is true for dresses.
And so we have (drum roll please):
Someone named Joanna Newson. This must have seemed like a good idea at the time, but to me it seems schizoid:
Then there’s someone named Gina Rodriguez who stopped by on the way to her wedding ceremony:
Speaking of schizoid, here’s model Heidi Klum (I’ve actually heard of her before) in what I can only describe as a half-and-half dress, or maybe it’s a four quarters dress. Or maybe it’s not a dress at all, it’s just a bad dream. You know, the one where you’re walking down the street partially unclothed:
Whereas Tatiana Mosley [correction: Maslany] unfortunately was in such a hurry she forgot her shirt. But she soldiered on bravely nonetheless:
Then there’s someone named Gwendoline Christie. I will now reproduce the commentary about her dress from the website:
Who said pale people can’t wear light colors? Gwendoline Christie’s really light dress surprisingly didn’t drown her out despite the old adage that says it should.
Shhh, don’t tell, but I think that old adage just may have been correct.
And now we have perhaps the most mysterious dress of all. Worn by January Jones (another actress I’ve heard of), it’s missing something. Or rather, she’s missing something. Can you spot what it might be?
Photoshop is not always your friend.
Now we have a dress I happen to like, worn by none other than—yes, believe it—Lady Gaga:
Tatiana Mosley dress looks like “quick! the dress styles are long for economic malaise and all i have is this mini skirt, quick sew mosquito netting on it” – or, if you look closely, its tinkerbells outfit, but they painted the leaves yellow…
meanwhile, the dress neo loves:
Ever since I was a little boy
Dressing up has always been my greatest joy
But when it’s time to be discreet
There’s one thing you just can’t beat
And that’s a strapless backless classical little black dress
Well first you go rip rip rip
Then you go snip snip snip
Then you whip in a zip zip zip
And split it up to the hip hip hip
And as you strip strip strip
You shiver, and quiver, for that soft caress
As you slip slip slip
Into that little black dress
Ever since I was the eina kliena heiren
It was the cordon bleu
For which I am most caring
And the one taste treat so sweet
That really can’t be beat
Is what we have here, how you are, caviar
That little black mess
That minimal (minimal)
Criminal (criminal)
Siniful little black dress
Shock Treatment- Little Black Dress
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e4BCOrLmJ0
the 2nd installment of the story of the frankfurt schools affect on the US of A…
I personally am way sick and tired of seeing poseurs standing in front of advertising backdrops.
The most celebrated show on tv honoring tv is a bomb.
January Jones is wearing a dress?
They photoshopped off January’s foot? Why would they do that? Because her shoes don’t match her clothes? That is a major fashion blunder in some circles. But maybe her feet are just tiny. I’m old fashioned, but I love her style in Mad Men.
Lady Gaga, first. Gina Rodriguez, second. Sexy, yet sophisticated. Classic.
Hideous! Unappealing colors, poorly cut, poorly made, tacky, no creativity in sight. Culture 2015. The jumpsuit is okay but the color is not.
January Jones has her shoes on — it’s just that the one is tuned in and almost a perfect color match for the carpet — all the more so when slightly shaded.
You have to blow up the photo to see just the very tip of the shoe.
The right foot shoes up better because it’s bent enough to pull the pants a tad bit higher.
What Jones is missing most is a bust to fill out that top. If she were endowed she’d never wear such a full-conical top.
(c.f. Jane Russell // Marilyn Monroe// et. al. )
Why does Johanna have a placemat stapled to her chest?
Not sure if Heidi Klum is auditioning for Auntie Mame or Peter Pan.
I’ve never seen Shock Treatment, but that “Little Black Dress” song is fun, so I’ll have to check out the whole movie. As long as we’re doing YouTube clips, here’s a great live version of PJ Harvey’s song “Dress”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QySwGXrpHzw
It also connects up with the previous discussion of sex in rock music; not that the song has much to do with sex, but Harvey’s dress sure does!
Oh, so that’s a placemat staple to her chest! I thought it was a pizza
It’s prolly more comfortable than twenty pounds of headlines…
Ms. Christie’s dress makes her look like someone the Sheriff’s Office Dive Team just recovered from the lake. After a week. No one healthy looks that pale.
Shorter January Jones: “I’m Gumby… dammit!”
Her name is Tatiana Maslany, NOT Mosley.
If you google “Tatiana Mosley” it autocorrects to Maslany. You didn’t even bother to check her name before screwing it up.
I like a lot of your posts, but this one is just mean-spirited, lazy whinging.
………you’re right about Heidi Klum, though.
Her name is Tatiana Maslany, not Mosley. She’s the star of Orphan Black, in which she plays multiple characters on the same show–clones with unique personalities and styles.
maximum nerd:
I don’t think you got the tone—it’s pretty much tongue-in-cheek. And I am careful to only make fun of the dresses or the dress choices, not the people themselves. I would never make fun of someone for being fat, ugly, etc..—that would be mean-spirited.
As far as Tatiana’s name went, what I actually did was to copy down all the relevant names from the original site. I did it longhand, on a piece of paper. The error occurred not because I wasn’t careful about that, but because apparently my handwriting was not so good and I read the name incorrectly from my own handwriting.
So your assumptions are incorrect.
I’ve fixed the name in the post.
>So your assumptions are incorrect.
as I said: If you google “Tatiana Mosley” it autocorrects to Maslany. You didn’t even bother to check her name.
That one isn’t.
maximum nerd:
Why on earth would I check her name again, when I’d already copied it down from the original Yahoo article correctly? I don’t have the time to fact-check every single name on a website like Yahoo and then fact-check it again.
I certainly fact-check many many other things, more important and complicated things from a website or article. But no, when I do a fluff piece like this about TV personalities, taken from something like Yahoo, and I’ve written down the name from the original website photo, I wouldn’t think to laboriously check each name again. It was correct at the site, and I had written it down correctly from the site. It was in looking at it and transcribing it onto my keyboard from what I myself had written where I made the error. I still have my handwritten list, and looking at it again now, I can see exactly how it happened. The error was in reading my own handwriting.
Ah, that first one is Johanna Newsom, whose second cousin twice removed (yeah, really) is California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom. I thought they were siblings when I started this comment. 🙂 Anyway, Johanna recorded a very very odd album some years ago and I’m still trying to figure out whether I like it. Called The Milk-Eyed Mender.
Fun post. Awful dresses! Glad you have that palate cleanser at the end.