Belly up to the buffet
The other night I went to a restaurant that served a gargantuan buffet dinner. There must have been close to a hundred dishes there—and that’s not even counting the desserts.
There was everything from pizza and lasagna to mussels and clams and tons of shrimp, from roast beef (let’s have an end cut, please!) to grilled marinated vegetables, from the homey comfort of macaroni and cheese to spicy barbequed ribs, from the boredom of a salad bar to the kick of stir-fried Hunan beef, all ripe for the picking.
But alas, I find I’m no longer quite up to the challenge. In my youth—well, best not to look back on faded glory. Lets just say that for about the last twenty years my ability to do right by a buffet has been slowly fading, till now it’s been reduced to “a bite of this and a bite of that” (although naturally, bites of forty or so dishes doth a fairly hefty meal make). And although the quality of this particular buffet was relatively high by buffet standards, there’s almost no way that food sitting out for any amount of time can compare to meals freshly made and brought to the table.
But I tried my best. And I’m proud to say that I managed to leave in that rare but deeply-desired post-buffet state: that of being pleasantly full but not stuffed to the gills.
Well, speaking only for myself, those gargantuan buffets have no appeal to me. I really can’t stomach the idea of being around that much food.
A few slices of first rate maguro and a glass of mineral water with a slice of lemon is all that I need.
For dessert? A couple of slices of perfectly right papaya with just a hint of lime. Superb.
Roast beef? And an end cut at that? That would run me for about a week if I could even bear to get it down.
What? No fried Squirrel?
No, but roasted varmint on a stick is okay for Sunday dinner.
I really like the two chains I have visited the most, being Piccadilly and Morrison’s, with Morrison’s as my favorite. I don’t eat there but maybe once a year. The food is cooked in the same manner I grew up with. With my parents long gone, my siblings spread all over the place and my own kids grown and out the door, it really is “comfort food”. Moderation is key. By moderation I mean once a year, because I pig out to the max when eating there. Hoowah!
br549: I remember them fondly from a trip South during the 70s. But when I was in the South more recently, I was told both cafeterias were awful now. I’m glad to hear that might not be true. My memory of the 70s was of very fresh very good very cheap homey-type food. The fried chicken and a slew of salads in particular were excellent.
Anyone else have any feedback 🙂 on the state of these cafeterias today?
Piccadilly is still in business. I know there is still a Morrison’s in Mobile, AL.
As for buffets, the only thing that bothers me is all the people picking around with the food. And they usually don’t have enough fried food. 🙂
“Only a rank degenerate would drive 1,500 miles across Texas without eating a chicken-fried steak.” – Larry McMurtry
Interesting. I’m with Mr. Vanderleun on this. Even the salad bar/hot food spread at Whole Foods Market is almost more than I can stomach to look at. It’s a far cry from the eating habits of my youth and my Southern family that had a cook 5 nights a week. When my children went there alone for the first time many years ago and asked what a biscuit was and I was hounded mercilessly, I knew I had forever left the lavish food plantation forever.
Last time I was back in the States, I went to an outfit called Ryan’s Family Steakhouse, which is actually a massive buffet, with the added benefit of cooked-to-order steaks. While a few of the dishes had been in the warming pans too long–the drawback of almost every buffet I’ve ever been to–the food was well-prepared and tasty. Very easy to go overboard here, but I also managed to walk (not waddle) out while feeling pleasantly full instead of stuffed to the gills.
Good lord. I admire your restraint.
May I ask — was this ‘an affair’, or a commercial buffet?
Buffets and sashimi – one of the more interesting sights to be seen East of Suez is Chinese punters mobbing the sushi/sashimi sections of hotel buffets in order to maximise perceived ROI.
“…one of the more interesting sights to be seen East of Suez is Chinese punters mobbing the sushi/sashimi sections of hotel buffets in order to maximise perceived ROI.”
Hate to stereotype, but yes, I’ve seen this, too. Another way I’ve seen it is with the “one trip only” salad bars in Thailand. Use lettuce leaves creatively to increase the size of the bowl. Then pile bowl/leaves up with everything that bar has to offer. The funny thing is, the patrons end up getting far more stuffed than they would if they could go back as often as they liked. Since they only get one trip, they feel they have to load up to the max.
bill: An exceedingly commercial one.
Even though I live in the south, I generally avoid buffets- except that once a week or so my boss takes the whole crew out to eat at a Mexican Buffet called “El Mexicano”. I ate cactus for the first time at that place. My advice- cover it in queso.
I cannot usually eat a whole lot of food at one sitting- so Buffets don’t usually interest me. As for the self serve buffets- I have to make multiple trips to the bathroom to wash my hands after handling the dipping spoons every one else has handled!
There was a chain restaurant called “Golden Corral” that was a self serve buffet and pretty good. Not sure if they are still around. I generally eat at fried chicken joints because they are cheap. Sometimes I will splurge and go to a steak place like “Texas Roadhouse” or “Outback”. I love “Chili’s” also!
Now if you ever have a chance to eat at a “Cracker Barrel” I recommend it. They are good for Southern Home style cooking— not a buffet either.
I have to say, I agree with Jon. Cracker Barrel is the best in my book, especially for breakfast. And it’s already Halloween there with all its garish gifts and costumes. There’s also a touch of Thanksgiving…..actually it’s how you can tell an Eastern elite from a regular person….whether they’ll venture into Cracker Barrel and enjoy the down home “dining experience.”
If you’re ever in Lancaster County, PA, and you’re feeling up to a buffet, this is the buffet to end all others. http://www.shady-maple.com/smorgasbord.
They’re owned by Amish or Mennonites and aren’t open on Sunday, so plan your trip accordingly.
Both aforementioned cafeterias are rare, as compared to days gone by, and the quality is not as consistent as before. One has to find the right one. The best and most consistent ones were at shopping malls. Sadly, what you have been told is, for the most part, true. It does taste like leftovers as opposed to just cooked, if not “held in stasis” properly or turned over fast enough.
Home cooking style food varies a great deal, depending on what part of the country the cook was raised. Does “Boston Market” really reflect home style cooking from the Boston area? My mother’s side of the family didn’t cook that way. I don’t know what side of the tracks is “best” for producing good home cooking in Boston, my mother’s side was from Jamaica Plain, settling there in the 1850’s or 70’s I believe.
br549 has pretty much summed up the state of the southern cafeteria. The days of the packed out Morrison’s or Piccadilly has passed, I think.
However, I am blessed in my own southern city to find wonderful sources for the food I grew up on. One is run by a local African-American megachurch (known as the “Soul Food Bistro” – wow is it good) and another is a private concern started with a little family money by a former debutante and culinary school grad that hit bottom with the bottle and put her life back together again. She uses her place to help herself and others getting back into life and out of drugs and booze, and it’s the best southern cooking in town. For more details on this place (see “Arden’s”) or anyplace else to eat in Jacksonville, look me up on chow.com under the Florida board. The chow is a personal interest of mine. 🙂
By the way, Piccadilly and Morrison’s always kept the food behind glass, where it is served up by employees. It can’t be picked over, touched, sneezed on, etc. That makes a huge difference. Most people would be shocked to realize just how few people in this world actually wash their hands after using the bathroom when they think no one notices. Perhaps I didn’t need to bring that up…………
You really can’t beat an all-you-can-eat South American style steakhouse.
In the mid-atlantic region we have the fabulous K&W cafeterias. Home style food served by friendly folks. Just take your tray down the line and point to what you want. They are much more santitary than the hog trough buffets where everyone serves themself such as Ryan’s or Golden Corral. I am also very partial to our numerous local Chinese buffets, but then again I am always reminded of the scene in “Spirited Away” where the parents eat so much they turn into pigs.
All of this will be dealt with when pigging out is declared a crime against humanity and enforced by the Obonga/Emanuel anti-obesity police.
When I was a kid, Shakey’s Pizza had a lunch buffet. When my friends and I would go, they always lost money on us. Now, I cannot stand any type of buffet. For two reasons: 1) the sanitary aspect mentioned above (all those people and their germs), and 2) I prefer a fresh-cooked meal served in the right portion sizes as opposed to one size (pans) fits all. I also find buffets to be bland due to the one size fits all mentality.
I do try to stuff myself to max capacity. Got to get the most protein and carbs for the buck, after all. People are starving in other parts of the world, and if I gave them a bad example using one’s own money, what would they do when somebody else started paying for their food?
Let’s not go there.
When I moved to Nevada six years ago, I enjoyed going to the buffets here every so often and taking advantage of some of the great special deals at restaurants. Now that I am six years older, I find that my appetite has diminished and that I’m not able to clean the plate when I order those inexpensive specials or fill up at a buffet like I used to. But I still enjoy going to some of the buffets now and then. It’s nice to be able to try all sorts of foods that I’m not going to make myself, though these days I’m usually satisfied adopting a strategy more like the one Neo describes–a bit of this, a bit of that, but not too much of anything lest I leave feeling overstuffed–which I still do sometimes if I take too many desserts.