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Personal note — 53 Comments

  1. I lurked for 2 years before beginning to comment. And I found your blog to be a refreshing source of perspective. Don’t sweat it; just keep posting what strikes your fancy. We commenters can throw in all sorts of details to cross-check and debate, and speaking for myself, I don’t expect you to hit everything that happens even if important.

  2. Bless you, Neo. And be easy on yourself. You’re still grieving, in addition to everything else you’re feeling as the world unravels.

  3. its hard to grapple with such horrors, even great to contemplate those who would deny them, like the crew at New Yawk magazine,

  4. Sit in a comfortable chair on quiet night with a glass of wine at hand and watch William Wyler’s classic film, “Friendly Persuasion.”

    However temporarily, it will ease your mind and restore your soul. You have my word on it.

    Then read the collection of linked short stories by Jessamyn West which the film was based on: “The [sic] Friendly Persuasion.”

    Bonus mind-easing and soul-restorative balm will be felt by reading about Jessamyn West herself, and the circumstances that inspired her to write the story of the Birdwell family.

    One of the top ten films off all time, IMO; and winner of the 1957 Cannes Film Festival Palm d’Or.

    Works for me every time.

  5. Be at peace with yourself,you recall how to amble there no doubt.. everything else – “a river runs thru it”?

  6. Hey, Sweethear, you own nobody anything.

    You share your actual thoughts, not click-bait. You are a jewel.

    Never forget that.

  7. to contemplate those who would deny them

    This is what I find so soul-crushing. The atrocities were committed by those unknown to me. By people from a different culture that I do not pretend to understand. But to watch my neighbors twist themselves into a pretzel trying to explain this, so they can continue on with their messed-up world-view, this is what I’m literally losing sleep over. How can my neighbors be this morally obtuse?

  8. I’m with you Neo. I find that, as war drums beat, my PTSD comes welling up.

    I know men are going in harm’s way. I know families are going to lose loved ones. I know the horror of it all. And a deep sadness wells up like an unwelcome fever. For those of us who have gone in harm’s way and know the price that is paid, it’s a nightmare.

    For the last two weeks it has been hard for me to concentrate. My mind keeps going over the history of the anti-Isarael Muslim movement, the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Kuwait. The promise of peace that came with the end of the Cold War. And I see no solutions.

    That humans can murder, rape, torture, and kidnap people because they disagree on how to worship their version of God is beyond understanding to me. Yet it is a centuries old dispute.

    So, I’m ill at ease, worried, wondering, fearful, angry, and upset. These are disturbing days.
    It appears we may be stumbling into a much bigger war.

    The one thing I know is that Israelis cannot keep living with a dagger at their throat. They have to do what needs to be done. Let their leaders and soldiers be brave and wise in battle.

    And may God have mercy on us all.

  9. Neo, you’re doing good work on keeping news and commentary going, and your commenters here are among the best informed around.

    I think we thought that, the blood-soaked twentieth century being in the rearview mirror, medieval berserker warriors would not be seen again. We were wrong.

    JJ asks for God’s mercy on us all. Amen. Being myself a fallible but believing Christian, I find prayer helps my mental balance. I am sure observant Jews are doing the same.

  10. What Mike Plaiss said. I’m also having a hard time sleeping and eating normally (no appetite, which is unusual for me). Coping for me involves 1) prayer (including prayer for Neo); 2) Bach music therapy (especially JSB’s more cheerful pieces); 3) caring for the cats. There is something about being responsible for the well-being of two of God’s creatures who depend on me for affection as well as food, water, and clean litter boxes that helps to calm my soul.

    And I agree with MollyG about ongoing grief for Gerard. I find myself wondering what he would be writing about the current crises here as well as in Israel, and I immediately remember that Neo’s loss dwarfs any of ours.

  11. I’m in awe of Neo’s productivity/energy, so I reiterate Oligonicella’s note (with its two typos rectified!):


    Hey, Sweetheart, you owe nobody anything.

    You share your actual thoughts, not click-bait. You are a jewel.

    Never forget that.

  12. The problem is we are too aware. News is everywhere instantaneously.

    There is another problem that is historic and, I believe a truly human trait, we all potentially may succumb to propaganda.

    Weird thing is, it’s as easy to fool the public now as it was when news was days or more late with just newspapers or limited by video broadcasting.

  13. Hang in there, Neo. You are a force for good in the world. Will your work make a difference? Who knows! You are putting your heart and soul into it and, in my mind, the world is a better place for it.

  14. @Paul Nachman:

    Ahhh! How dare you! I only found one.

    But I’ll take your word for it. 🙂

    Always pay attention to your editor. 🙂 🙂

  15. Hang in there, Neo. You are a force for good in the world.

    –T-Rex

    neo is indeed a force for good! Reminds me of this from Tony Robbins:
    __________________________________

    Now I am the voice
    I will lead, not follow
    I will create, not destroy
    I will believe, not doubt
    I am a force for good
    Set a new standard
    Step up!

    –Tony Robbins, “Now I am the Voice”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ijaygkFjSk

    __________________________________

    Perhaps one could call it “The Unbearable Heaviness of Tony Robbins.” 🙂

    Early in his career Tony was helping a young woman who was a member of an LA gang. She wanted to leave the gang, she knew she had to, but it was all she knew and she was afraid.

    So Tony improvised the incantation above and taught it to her. They repeated it together until she connected to her strength within.

    Tony teaches this incantation to his participants at all his events. Of course, with Tony it’s not a rote recitation, but a full body experience. (See link above, if you dare…) At the climax he adds:
    _______________________________

    I am a Force for God!
    _______________________________

    I started attending Tony events when I was deeply depressed, feeling crushed by the world and not seeing a way out.

    I found a way.

    neo doesn’t need my help or advice. She will find her way too.

  16. @Paul Nachman:

    OK, found the second. Had a few shots of apricot brandy.

    Thank you, editor. 🙂

  17. Thank you Neo for checking in with us. I haven’t done much commenting since the heinous events of October 7. I don’t have words for the things that happened and the horrifying responses across the western world. We’ve seen it coming by degrees but it is already worse than I would have thought. Short of a miracle I don’t see things improving, but I’ll continue to pray for one.

  18. Shining a bright light to help illuminate a very dark place…and reminding us, along with your many commentators, for whom you’ve provided this very special—and civilized—forum, that there is much goodness, truth and beauty in this world.
    For which, endless gratitude…

  19. Prayer does change things– often it changes us. It helps us focus on the things we can do, and turn over to God the things of which we have no control.

    Psalm 22 seems like a prayer that is appropriate for the time. Psalm 22 was part of David’s experience prior to him ascending to the throne while being hunted by Saul, the reigning and paranoid king. David was forced into the Judean wilderness, and occasionally pushed even further out among the Gentiles.

    “Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer.
    Every night you hear my voice, but I find no relief.

    Yet you are holy,
    enthroned on the praises of Israel.

    Our ancestors trusted in you,
    and you rescued them.

    They cried out to you and were saved.
    They trusted in you and were never disgraced.”

    He recognizes that God has provided for him in the past even though he is in desperate circumstances at the time. He can trust God.

    “My enemies surround me like a herd of bulls;
    fierce bulls of Bashan have hemmed me in!

    Like lions they open their jaws against me,
    roaring and tearing into their prey.

    My life is poured out like water,
    and all my bones are out of joint.
    My heart is like wax,
    melting within me.

    My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay.
    My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
    You have laid me in the dust and left me for dead.

    My enemies surround me like a pack of dogs;
    an evil gang closes in on me.
    They have pierced my hands and feet.

    I can count all my bones.
    My enemies stare at me and gloat.

    They divide my garments among themselves
    and throw dice for my clothing.

    O LORD, do not stay far away!
    You are my strength; come quickly to my aid!

    Save me from the sword;
    spare my precious life from these dogs.

    Snatch me from the lion’s jaws
    and from the horns of these wild oxen.

    I will proclaim your name to my brothers and sisters.
    I will praise you among your assembled people.

    Praise the LORD, all you who fear him!
    Honor him, all you descendants of Jacob!
    Show him reverence, all you descendants of Israel!

    For he has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy.
    He has not turned his back on them,
    but has listened to their cries for help.”

    Psalm 22: 2-5, 12-24

  20. Reminiscences from Neo suggest that she is a bit older than me. That’s not young. It appears that most of the commenters here are also well along in years, past 50 at least, and some much older. We all grew up in and remember–in fact spent most of our adult lives in–an America that, for all its many problems, did not seem to be facing the kind of collapse that we are seeing now. I don’t necessarily mean a complete breakdown, though that’s plausible, but an institutional collapse that leaves the republic an empty shell, an oligarchy-technocracy that is no longer effectively governed by the people and the written constitution but by destructive leftist ideas.

    Naturally it depresses us. We know what is being lost, and we know that there is not really all that much we can do about it. We were already in that frame of mind before these recent atrocities, and what appears to be the likelihood of wider war, and extreme danger for Israel. Those of us who are not Jewish may not feel that in our guts in the same deeply personal way that Jews do, but we feel it.

    All to say: it’s not surprising that the mood is dark.

  21. Thank you, Neo, for the work you do.
    Thank you to the commenters who provide education and support. It means a lot to me.
    I live in Israel and have sons in the army. The degree of rallying together I am seeing among the citizens is truly remarkable. The deep division we had experienced here over judicial reform has been pushed to the side so we can help one another. I pray every day for our leaders to have wisdom and courage so they can act effectively.

  22. Thanks, commenters all. I find myself reduced to saying “Ditto…yes, that’s what I think, too…that’s it…well said…me too.”

    Thank you, Neo, for being who you are and doing what you do. You bring out the best in us. Courage; patience; perspective; grace.

    “When you’re going through hell, keep going.”

  23. Mac at 1134 pm I think summarizes well. I suspect that there are few if any commenters here under 40, or as Mac says, even under 50. A such, any younger folk may accuse us of the usual “old fart” view of the world going to hell in a handbasket. I heard it from my grandfather, and I bet he heard it from his. However, I will say it is truly different now, and it can be very depressing to see the slow and methodical destruction of the US and, if the events keep moving in the direction they seem to be, the world.

    Other than talking to a few liberal friends to try and get them out of their CNN bubble, there’s not a whole hell of a lot I can do to affect events. Lack of control over one’s life can also be a source of depression.

    So what to do?? For myself, it may seem to be the ostrich strategy, but I have to keep living my life: I play golf once a week with a couple of great guys, play guitar every day trying to add new songs, watch our pool being slowly built, help our daughters out even though they a fully adult. I do know, however, as events proceed, I would not be too surprised to see a mushroom cloud over the JAX NAS and Kings Bay and hope I get caught in the initial blast….living in the aftermath is not something worth contemplating.

  24. Several times in my life I became so despairing I found myself re-reading “Desiderata”. Very simple words and thoughts but that very simplicity in those dark times was what struck a chord with me. Thank God I haven’t become so jaded or “cool” as to not appreciate common and yet profound wisdom. I hope your spirits improve and I hope it is soon.

  25. Love your blog. Has introduced me to things I know nothing about, such as ballet. Do keep your spirits up and keep blogging!

  26. People are in a mood.

    Patrick Kurp writes “Anecdotal Evidence: a blog about the intersection of books and life” (https://evidenceanecdotal.blogspot.com/). His post this morning is a comment on Philip Larkin’s “Nothing to Be Said,” which was completed on this date in 1961.

    Here’s the text of Larkin’s poem:

    “For nations vague as weed,
    For nomads among stones,
    Small-statured cross-faced tribes
    And cobble-close families
    In mill-towns on dark mornings
    Life is slow dying.

    “So are their separate ways
    Of building, benediction,
    Measuring love and money
    Ways of slowly dying.
    The day spent hunting pig
    Or holding a garden-party,

    “Hours giving evidence
    Or birth, advance
    On death equally slowly.
    And saying so to some
    Means nothing; others it leaves
    Nothing to be said.”

  27. One might conclude that the ONLY reason to read Philip Larkin is the tremendous relief one immediately feels AFTER reading him that one is NOT Philip Larkin.

    (Some, I believe, refer to this as Larkin-therapy.)

  28. Physicsguy-
    I probably agree with you on most things, but not today.
    Any read of history, whether of 100 years ago or 1000 years, will confirm (at least to me) that overall things are way better than they have been at any time, if averaged over a decade or so. That is to say, things today are not better than they were 5 years ago, but going back a decade or 2 or 3, overall things were worse- civil wars that we did not know about, some that we did (Hutu-Tutsi, Serbia). Wiki has an entry on “Wars of the 21st Century.” Every year there are 5-10 wars listed, most of which I had never heard of, and I have no reason to believe that that it would be any different for any time over the past 5000 years.

    Today we fell particularly bad about Israel, because we have ties to Israel and possible some guilt about the Holocaust (which is good), and Ukraine, but Wiki also lists multiple ongoing wars in Africa and Asia (curiously, every one that I saw was in the Eastern Hemisphere).

    We have much improved knowledge of what is ongoing around the world, and if the hospital bombing 500 dead that was really an own goal parking lot pothole story doesn’t convince everyone to be skeptical, nay cynical, about everything they hear and read, they deserve to be miserable.

    That’s not to say that everything is wonderful, of good, and certainly could be better, but perspective is important. I personally feel that Israel should and must destroy Hamas, and accept any and all “civilian” collateral casualties as the fault of Hamas, but if they do or don’t it has no effect on me or my family. I think the world will be better if Gaza is turned to rubble, and Ukraine eliminates the invading Russian army; I don’t know which side to root for in the current Nagorno-Karabakh conflict.

    We can and should learn lessons from everything that is happening to decrease the chances of bad stuff happening to us- that is the advantage of all this knowledge that we are exposed to. Peace through Superior Firepower comes to mind, supporting the proper elected officials, self defense are all important.

    Meanwhile, the sun will rise, your family will give you love and comfort, and we ordinary folks in America will live lives that are greater and richer than the King of England was able to have 100 years ago.

    Sorry for the length of this, but I’m currently dealing with an elderly mother who has had a very long and good life, but is absolutely obsessed with how awful things are, despite outliving just about all of her generation and enjoying relative good health and independent function in her 10th decade on earth. I’m also concerned about our hostess, who I think may be too close to things to keep a healthy perspective, per her current post.

    It’s impossible to make progress looking backwards, or downwards.

  29. Bill K on October 25, 2023 at 10:06 am said:
    When all else goes to hell, get a dog:
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/oct/04/competitive-warm-and-conservative-what-exactly-makes-someone-a-dog-person
    _______________________________________________________________

    Who can disagree with this?

    “if a woman’s husband has been killed by a wild animal, especially a tiger, it is necessary for her to marry a dog, before she can take another husband.”

    (https://www.stanleycoren.com/e_beliefs.htm)

  30. WestTx,

    Yes, I agree with you in general, but the world is much more interconnected than even 30 years ago.

    I, too, hope Hamas is totally destroyed. I am hopeful Iran is bluffing. But if Iran does something stupid, it could lead to a world conflagration. I can’t do anything to stop that, so just keep living and enjoying life the best I can.

    Oh yes!! Dogs are a source of true joy. We have 4; 2 senior citizens and 2 young’uns. Pure souls of love.

  31. From Mac …

    “It appears that most of the commenters here are also well along in years, past 50 at least, and some much older. We all grew up in and remember–in fact spent most of our adult lives in–an America that, for all its many problems, did not seem to be facing the kind of collapse that we are seeing now.”

    Yep, that’s me, will be 53 in December. I remember sitting in odd/even gas lines with my dad. I remember the Bicentennial. I remember seeing my friend’s mom cry when Elvis died. The Iran Hostage Crisis, the lament on Reaganomics that after the recession made our lives generally better, on and on it goes what I remember and experienced.

    No matter what, I felt we were America and would get past it all relatively intact. Today? Especially since 2015, I am not confident, at all. Our government went apoplectic against a presidential candidate and then the sitting US President. Maybe that’s how it always been since at least the end of WWII, but it was in the shadows and not reported on much, if at all. Today, it’s in full force, out front, and championed by many including most of the media.

    That is not the America I remember growing up.

  32. TexasDude, “I remember seeing my friend’s mom cry when Elvis died.”
    And I remember my mom crying when JFK died.
    And while driving my parents car for the first time at age 16, I remember gasoline was 35 cents a gallon.

    And I struggle against this verse, Ecclesiastes 7:10, “Do not say, “Why is it that the former days were better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask about this.”

  33. Neo,
    Your personal loss is no doubt weighing on you – casting a dark shadow – in the back ground.

    For most of the last 2,000 years, there was no Nation State of Israel. Most of the last two Millineum many people would have scoffed at the idea that Israel would be reborn, yet God used events to bring it back into existence. Here we are , observing the existence of that reborn nation. There is more to come.

  34. I will add, that it is a matter of certainty that people will one day be talking about the miracle that a Jewish Temple will be built. * Maybe on this blog. If it happens sooner rather than later.

    * And the matters of discussion may very well include ” at what price?… this is a false peace ?”

  35. Thanks for what you do.

    Speaking personally, there’s a lot of stories that I don’t feel are worth commenting on either because I don’t have anything useful or particularly interesting to say, or because they just don’t interest me that much. As an example, I really just don’t care much about the current GOP Speaker imbroglio. While I think it’s a mess and an embarrassment, I don’t feel strongly that it will really matter that much in the longer term. There are just way too many far more significant events that are on going that I believe will be much more important over the comming year or so.

  36. To Brian E and Jon Baker, “Well said”.
    The Almighty will never abandon Israel. So despite all the pain and destruction, and though His ways are beyond our knowing, He keeps His promises.
    Imagine how Jeremiah felt. But then imagine the rejoicing of Ezra some 70 years later.

    And to Nonapod, I agree that the GOP imbroglio is a tempest in a teapot, because I believe that in the long run, the US has had its day, and like Rome, will decay into dissolute weakness and withdrawal. How fast I have no idea, but the trajectory is clear.

  37. My wife and I are dealing with life altering events the past three months. A spine fracture, surgery and then Covid as I was recovering. Still, I read your blog every day and appreciate what you do. I am still astonished that Israel did not allow its citizens to arm themselves but wisdom may come from catastrophe. The Biden regime is the worst I can think of since 1865. Harding took a lot of grief about his appointments but he ended the 1920 recession, which could have become a depression. I am old enough (85) that I will probably not see the worst but I do worry about my grand children. This poll and others like it worry me, as the age spread suggests evil influences. I suspect the malign influence of college education.

  38. Bill K,
    Please don’t mistake my comments to mean that I things all will go all great for Israel in the interim. Eventually, yes, but both the Old and New Testament speaks of some bad things that are going to happen near the end of this present age. Just read Daniel chapter 9: 27 and 12 : 11 and Jesus reference to it in Matthew chapter 24: 15-31 and Paul’s reference to it in 2 Thessalonians 2 : 4 . ( How the Bible implies there will be another Temple) . Then read the last chapter of Zechariah. Grim at first for Israel, then things change dramatically.

  39. Jon baker — I hope you’re right! Very slowly, Jews are increasingly going to visit the Temple Mount. Still low numbers of people, and we’re still forbidden to pray. But something is changing.

    Bill K — I sure hope you’re right too. I have made my life here in the Jewish homeland, and there is something very beautiful here.

    Mike K — feel better! The issue of bearing arms here is complicated. This past week the rules were relaxed somewhat, so many more people can buy guns. The biggest change was to open it up to anyone who served in the army as a combat soldier. But many people still do not qualify – e.g., most women, most Haredim, men who do not serve in combat positions, etc. The rules also allow more people to get guns based on where they live. In any event, keep in mind, the Arab minority is sizable and is not necessarily loyal to the existence of the state, with all that that situation entails.

  40. Mike K-
    Sorry to hear of your travails, and many hopes and prayers for better times.
    I’m 1/2 generation behind you, and like you have concerns about the civilization that my grandkids will inherit. As I noted ad nauseam above, I’m on the more optimistic end of the spectrum, as I believe that there is a core of good people in this country that, once pushed too far, will be live the sleeping giant that awakens and says, “No more!” It won’t happen overnight, but will be slowly, then all of a sudden. The sudden part will be very messy and unpleasant, but will usher in several generations of good times, which will of course lead to soft men and more hard times.
    Be of good cheer, Mike K and all.

    OT I think- I was at the gym an hour or so ago. CNN was livecasting the latest vote for House Speaker, like it’s the World Series, with a running box score. I was filled with pity for the people who think that this is something worth watching.

  41. Neo, we appreciate you and your efforts to keep us looped. Love the style of writing and your ability to show your concern for the topic.

  42. I will add my thanks to Neo and the Salon for giving me a forum for trying out my 2-cents-worth on current events, ballet, and many things in-between.
    Perusing the discussions here give a much needed balance to the public punditry, because even the conservative writers mostly live in an environment different from the general populace.

    There is a breadth and depth of experience represented here that even the talking-head “experts” don’t have, and much of that is a result of our longer “lived experience” so let’s not hurry to discount ourselves for being old. I do hope there are some younger readers who are in a position to put what they believe into effective action. Which reminds me of “I Am Spartacus” and his encouraging work in the elections arena.

    It is a challenge to live in discouraging times without becoming despondent, and having a “safe place” to air our concerns is helpful (waves to FBI monitor), but the bottom line is what we do at a personal level day-to-day that makes life better for ourselves, family, friends, neighbors, and if we can a wider circle, regardless of what happens in the realms outside our reach.

    Thanks to everyone here for making my life better.

  43. Life would be a lot less fun without all of those here, who gather at Neo’s place. Take care, all!

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