They’re all here for me
I get several emails every day that chorus, “We’re here for you!”
The pharmacy, the grocery store, Walmart, my doctors, the hairdresser I went to briefly ten years ago, ditto a trainer and physical therapist. The universities I attended in the distant past, which weren’t really even there for me back then, I’m afraid.
But all of them are here for me now. And even though some of it seems ridiculous – my alma matres, really? – much of it is very real. My supermarket is there for me, with stockers and clerks increasing their own risk in order to serve the public. Doctors and nurses and the local hospital – they are brave souls. Even the pizza delivery driver I sometimes see in the neighborhood, wearing a mask and gloves these days, is performing a yeoman’s task in being there for me and for you.
I haven’t ordered a pizza, though. I would probably just scarf it down. Best to keep the eating as light as possible to avoid the weight gain that a lot of my friends are complaining has happened to them.
Yes to all of this but my favorite was the furniture store I bought a chair from about 10 years ago. I don’t even know how they got my email.
But they are here for me, so that’s good.
You’ll see some more flags around July 4, a drift of a couple of bars of a Christmas carol behind an ad in December. Veterans Day…couple more soldiers in the background of an ad.
It’s not likely many of us will see an ad for something we need RIGHT NOW. Much of advertising is to promote the warm fuzzies until we need whatever it is. Remember “the touch, the feel, of cotton, the fabric of our lives”? Were we expected jump up and order a couple of hundred square yards of the stuff?
And when they really are there for you…plenty of reason to say so. Because, among other things, they’d like you to be there for them. When this is over. A zoning board hearing. Loyalty when a competitor shows up.
Same here, lots of emails from places I have done business with.
Wed while at SAMS, WalMart and King Sooper (Kroger) I made it a point to thank any clerk that helped me. Told them thank you for being there.
I just want to remind you and everyone else that LL Bean is still open, and able to mail out any clothing or footwear that you desire. We are here for you.
Now go outside and get some fresh air.
Great time to buy a car IF you have great credit … 0% interest for 84 months at every dealer in my area and Ford even paying your first 3 months!
If you don’t have GREAT credit … forgetabout it!
My wife & are keeping a running tally of banal platitudes we’re losing patience with:
We’re all in this together/we’re here for you/wash your hands/don’t touch your face/ventilators/modeling/uncharted waters/mitigation/social distancing
I find virtue signaling lacking in any form of virtue.
My auto insurance company just sent me a letter telling me they’re crediting my next premium for $50, due to less driving hence fewer claims. I guess I just assumed they would eat up the savings and enjoy the profits, but they seem to be actually here for me. Who knew?
I’m living on meatloaf, cheese, broccoli, and green beans with a side of three cups of coffee/day. Just ordered some coffee beans to pick up at the roasting facility that is about a mile from here, the associated cafe shutdown for the pandemic. If I were young, I’d miss working. Hope we manage to navigate the reopening with minimum hassle.
Virtue signaling and feminized emoting in public discourse both disgust me.
If a merchant emails me it had better be about an exciting new product its privacy disrespecting datamining has determined that I will immediately buy for a a dopamine hit or a substantial discount on something I regularly purchase. Being here for my sorry ass won’t cut it.
I find myself heartily in agreement with Parker. This is such a rare and auspicious conjunction that I want to go buy a lottery ticket but they’ve shut down the $%#*ing lottery for the duration!
Neo,
We know that you – thankfully – are here for us.
Please keep at it as you, and almost all the commenters here, are islands of sanity in a world that is seemingly going nuts.
My email box is also full, and I stuff them all in a folder for later reference; mostly stores I’ve done business with anyway, and I may want to order something.
I haven’t had the good news that Nobody Atall did (what insurance company was it?), but my fortune does include:
(1) a list of at-home exercises from my Pilates coach; and
(2) curb-side delivery from the local made-in-our-own-store ice cream place.
So, I’m good.
Neo, we love you.
Well, I can’t profess that I love her. I do deeply appreciate her insight and the depth of of her investigative skills. I depend on her insight. But I love Mrs parker unconditionally. She has been my friend, lover, adviser for 52 years. I am a lucky man.
The emails annoy me. Most all of them come across as hackneyed and insincere. A small percentage have contained actual, useful information, several have been rude. I find most of them thoughtless enough that I take the time to unsubscribe from their lists.
The whole “we’re here for you” and “we’re all in this together” strikes me as what the Christian Brothers in my high school use to call “pious piffle;” and akin to the merchants wrapping themselves in a flag to sell stuff. It also reminds me of this from SEINFELD:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23GBuxgFNg4
“We’re here for you” comes in at about 35 seconds.