Okay, so sometimes I watch it. So sue me.

And last night the results show—always milked for maximum drama—was more than usually dramatic because judge-favored songstress Pia got the boot from the viewers. Ah, America, ye of little judgment, according to the shocked judges!

But hey, I’m with America. Pia’s a pretty girl and she’s got a beautiful voice, but IMHO she’s boring. The judges acted as though poor fellow-last-in-line-contestant Stefano was so markedly inferior to Pia that it was clear he should have been going instead, and he looked every bit as stricken as Pia when the results were announced. But I think he’s more or less the male version of her: beautiful voice, essentially rather dull.

Here’s the ever-so-shocking drama, in case you’re interested (and by the way, Pia was looking uncharacteristically Elvira that night):

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.