Another roundup
So much news:
Greatest hits from the Barr hearing.
Our math-challenged public is easy to spook. Math is hard. [Hat tip: commenter “Griffin.”]
The WaPo will be capitalizing “White.”
I cannot resist making a version of the old old joke: What’s White, Black, and Red all over? The WaPo. (And that’s not “red” as in “Republican” – it’s “Red” in the old-fashioned sense.)
I like the little ‘Roundup’ feature. Maybe you can make it like Larry King’s old USA Today column that would end with a string of random comments.
Maybe end it with ‘nothing beats apple pie ala mode…that Joan Crawford was one tough broad…say what you want but I’ll take Duke Snider any old day’.
When I was in sixth grade for Christmas I got a cartoon book of jokes (circa 1964) which included:
____________________________________________
What is green and red and goes around and around and around?
A frog in a blender.
____________________________________________
Which may be more information than some want to hear…
However, looking it up on the web today, I discover there is a world of “frog in a blender” jokes, games and drinks.
I’m not sure if this story has a moral.
I am conflicted about the capitalization of ‘white’. On the one hand, I can appreciate the attempt at symmetry, but on the other, if I accept “White”, is it implicitly buying too much into someone else’s program? Such a seemingly simple matter of typography and yet it’s so fraught…. Maybe I should start calling myself Northwest European, which, among other positive aspects, has the advantage of removing the ambiguity around whether or not to capitalize.
It’s OK to be White.
Actually, it’s rather more than OK. But I do like the triggering effect of this statement.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A zebra with sunburn.
I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
Joke Telling Pro Tip: DO NOT explain the punch line. EVER. Just drop mic and post.
I object to capitalizing either “black” or “white.” Neither refers to a geographical area, like Africa, Asia, or Europe, or to a country name. Besides, doesn’t the WaPo know that grammar is now racist? Who do they think they are, dictating capitalization?
A comprehensive, no-punches-pulled description of the “Lynch Session” against Barr this week, with some information I wasn’t aware of, viz.:
‘Most Americans do not know this, but by law a congressional representative is permitted to say anything at a hearing, no matter how false, no matter how defamatory, and they cannot be sued for perjury or defamation…. This unique protection is called “Legislative Privilege”….’
https://spectator.org/barr-house-hearing-tuesday/
H/T Powerline blog
Ah, yes, Barry Meislin, Dov Fischer at the American Spectator is always worth reading. I knew about legislative privilege; I remember Harry Reid’s lies about Romney’s tax payments. Reid couldn’t be accused of slander because he told the lies in the Senate.
What’s black and white and red all over? A nun who has been run over by a bus.
Also ~ Remember ~ “Better Dead than Red !”
huxley
What is green and red and goes around and around and around?
A frog in a blender.
https://joecartoon.com/watch/k1bbbc/Frog_in_a_Blender?
Kate.
Sounds pretty outrageous to me.
Do you know whether a legislator who tells a proven lie or slander can at least be censured for doing so?
The Frog in a Blender book also included this:
___________________________________________
What’s the black stuff between an elephant’s toes?
Slow natives.
___________________________________________
You can’t tell that one no more.
That was the Year of the Elephant Joke. There were lots of them, mostly in better taste. Then the Elephant Joke had its fifteen minutes of fame and was forgotten.
Although not quite. wiki has a surprisingly long, interesting article on the Elephant Joke which says EJs never died:
___________________________________________
Both elephant jokes and Tom Swifties were in vogue in 1963, and were reported in the US national press. While Tom Swifties were marketed to literate adults and gradually fell out of fashion over subsequent decades, elephant jokes have lasted among younger audiences, circulating through generations of schoolchildren.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_joke
Waiting for the AL team in Chicago to either spell its name “white Sox” or change the name altogether– maybe “Blue Sox.”
Barry Meislin, yes, I think the Senate or House could censure a member for telling lies in the Capitol. Members could also be expelled by vote of their chamber, I believe. But what are the chances of that happening to any Democrat?
First the WSJ had Black and white. Now they have black and white.
I am so confused.
What goes “slam, slam, slam, slam’? A four-door elephant.
And, on schedule, the DC Court of Appeals has granted the en banc review. Hearing on Tuesday, Aug. 11.
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/flynn-to-go-before-full-appeals-court-as-legal-saga-drags-on
Here are the relevant provisions of the Constitution:
Article I, section 5: Each House may determine the rules of its proceedings, punish its members for disorderly behavior, and, with the concurrence of two thirds, expel a member.
Article I, section 6: The Senators and Representatives shall receive a compensation for their services, to be ascertained by law, and paid out of the treasury of the United States. They shall in all cases, except treason, felony and breach of the peace, be privileged from arrest during their attendance at the session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any speech or debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other place.
From my recollection of 3rd grade jokes at St. Mary’s Catholic Academy:
-What’s black, white and red and can’t walk through a revolving door?
-A nun with a spear through her head.
Kate,
I’ve had a sinking feeling about that En Banc hearing getting the vote and happening for a while. The crazy years.
“What’s black and white and red all over?”
“I don’t know, but if you could hum a few bars, maybe I can fake it.”
That same punchline was on the cover of a Ms magazine in the 70’s. The question asked was, “Did you know that the women’s movement has no sense of humor?”
I have had a book since 1957 that I received as a 10-year old long term hospital patient, “10 Thousand Jokes, Toasts and Stories”. This kept me occupied for quite a while. Some jokes I didn’t get. Most I did. Most could not be told today, not dirty jokes, just no longer PC, if they ever really were. Polish jokes, Black jokes, Jewish jokes, Briar-hopper jokes.
“What’s red and bad for your teeth?”
“A brick”
Meemsie:
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That’s not funny!
“What goes ‘slam, slam, slam, slam’? A four-door elephant.”
Q: How does a male elephant find a female elephant in the tall grass? A: Delightful!
Another local-color type of joke: Q: What goes ‘clop, clop, clop, clop, bang’?
A: An Amish drive-by shooting.
Frog in a Blender? I can think of a market in Guangzhou where blending frogs would get you thrown out and deported for being dangerously soft, sentimental and probably an animal rights fanatic.
@Meemsie:
There used to be a an academic journal of curses and insults by the name of Maledicta. Made for interesting reading. IIRC didn’t last too long because the Editor was (surprise!) somewhat irascible and tried out some of his stuff on a humorless judge during his divorce hearing and ended up in the clink for a while. Or something like that.
Q: What do you call a (Dusky Indigenous Ethnic Slur) wearing a suit?
A: The Defendant.
Q: What do you call a (Dusky Indigenous Ethnic Slur) carrying a Mossberg 500?
A: Sir!
Then there’s this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBRiWcqMX6M
I’m packed for the Gulag.
“That was the Year of the Elephant Joke.” – huxley
I still have a paperback book of jokes published by Scholastic.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9284595-101-elephant-jokes
“Why does an elephant wear roller skates?”
Sadly, I’ve forgotten the punch line for that one.
“How do you get down off an elephant?”
Took me until college to understand the answer —
That’s the result of a commercially-deprived childhood.
I still have a paperback book of jokes published by Scholastic.
AesopFan: Oh, I adored the Scholastic books. Life didn’t get better than “Danny Dunn and the Homework Machine” for this fifth-grader.
https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/books/danny-dunn-and-the-homework-machine-by-jay-williams/
Sadly and inevitably, Scholastic has fallen prey to the SJWs. On the homepage there is a big clickable black band at the top, “Statement of Solidarity with Black Lives Matter.”
I want my childhood back!
Black and white and red all over?
A blushing penguin
A zebra with a diaper rash
A caucasian nihilist feminist with tampon earrings
Civil war II
How many buddists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none, they are already enlightened
how many gardnerian pagans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
i dont know, its a secret
how many latvians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
nine, one to hold the bulb and the other eight to drink till the room spins
how many soviets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
you have a light bulb?
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb really has to want to change.
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Thanks Tim.
Though by encouraging the mayhem and rioting, it seems that some Democrats might be considered by any metric culpable for “breach of the peace”.