On not answering the phone
This article discusses the fact that very few people answer their phones anymore.
Well, I’m one of the few who do, I guess. That’s one of many things that seem to mark me as a dinosaur.
I don’t always answer it, of course. I know which numbers tend to be spam calls or robocalls and I ignore them, usually blocking the number as well. The latter doesn’t have too much effect because the groups who make these calls have access to an arsenal of numbers, but I think it helps a bit. I probably only get one or two such calls a day, if that, which apparently is a rather low number compared to what’s typical.
But with caller ID, I almost always will answer a call identified as from a person I know, and the vast majority of my calls are just that. I usually turn my phone off when I’m at restaurant or in the theater, or visiting a live person. Sometimes I don’t answer if I’m watching something at home that’s especially compelling. Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I’m very busy. But most of the time I’m happy to hear from a friend and happy to talk.
Of course, not all that many people call me, so it’s not that much of a distraction.
I’ve learned not to call someone of the younger generation, though, unless it’s something urgent. Or, if I’m going to call, I am fully prepared to just leave a message that the person (yeah, usually my son) should call back when he gets a chance. It can be days before that happens.
I realize that texting tends to get a quicker reply. But I find texting not only time-consuming (my fingers aren’t that fast) but so much less satisfying than the easy give-and-take of hearing a voice and perceiving tone. I’ve long been hyper-sensitive to tone. I can often tell if a person is tired, or blue, or double-tasking while speaking to me, or lying down, just from the person’s tone of voice. If I ask, I discover that I’m usually correct.
The ring of a phone used to signal the promise of something wonderful. It still does – at least, to me. At least for now.
I don’t have caller ID. I do not pick up the phone until someone leaves a message. I would estimate that 80% of the calls do not leave a message. Of those who leave a message, many or even most are ones I want to talk to. Though some who leave message are spammers, such as “The IRS has a warrant for your arrest unless you pay up ASAP” or the calls from India about problems with my Apple device- though I have never owned any Apple devices.
As I recently got rid of my landline, I will probably experience fewer spam calls.
The telemarketers have gotten more sneaky. They mask their calls with the prefix from our town, and our caller ID shows it as a caller from our town. We now never answer without the ID telling us it’s a friend or relative.
Yep, best way to reach a millennial is text, though I have to say our daughters will answer their phones. I guess it’s hard to ignore mom and dad.
I’ve long been hyper-sensitive to tone.
A means to insight. A reason to text.
I always answer if it’s someone I know, but if the number isn’t in my contacts, I won’t answer.
I still have a landline. It’s hard to give it up. It’s the number that all with whom we do business use to reach us, as do faraway friends and relatives. I can hear the landline ring wherever I am in the house and I can’t hear my cellphone as well. I don’t carry it with me unless I am expecting a call. My daughters think I am nuts to answer the phone each time it rings. I used to think I was being polite but now that the majority of calls are robocalls, I think I am being stupid. The landline will go sooner or later.
Apple introduced a new feature on iPhones in a recent update which automatically sends any call from a number which is not in your contacts to voicemail.
In some ways it seems harsh, but I was getting spam calls twice a day before then. Now, the spam has been completely eliminated, which is great for quality of life.
I am a little worried about how this will work if/when I start looking for a new job. There are some time periods where you do expect important calls from unknown numbers, even if the majority of the time you don’t.
I have both a landline and a cell phone. The landline has a call identifier and if I don’t have the number in my contact list, I answer and disconnect (left thumb, right thumb). I’d say I average about 5 robocalls per day. I’ve also found that if I connect, but don’t speak, the caller disconnects at about 12 seconds. Not that it matters…if I hear a voice, I might decide to answer, but usually not. I do appreciate that it’s a live person as opposed to a …. what …. device?? whatever it is that responds to the sound of my voice if I answer. But even then, sometimes I can hear the sound of the telephone bank in the background with however many people doing the same thing with someone else. Which is why I went to the on/off method. I think it has reduced the number of calls I get, but can’t say for sure. Obviously.
My cell phone doesn’t get spam calls – for some reason. I have gotten a few, and T-mobile even has a system that will note a “Scam Likely” on some of them. For the most part, though, I just don’t get them on the cell phone.
I use texting on the cell phone, even if it’s just “call me when you have time”. My kids all work at jobs where taking calls during work is a no-no, so texting is preferable, and they also know that I prefer they call on the land line – more comfortable for chat time. Cell phones can be terrific, though. The other day I had to be somewhere in an unfamiliar area, son called on the cell phone just at the right time – I wasn’t where I thought I was, and didn’t have the right directions to get where I needed to go. He got on google maps and directed me to where I needed to be. His timing was super! I would have been lost without him – literally!
I always answer “hello” with a very slight “?” tone, just as I did before caller ID, even though I can see who is calling.
If you get too many marketing calls to your land line, try Nomorobo. You add Nomorobo’s phone number to the call forwarding feature of your land line. It receives the forwarded call and hangs up if it comes from annoying sources. The most you hear is one ring.
I don’t get the texting option. It always seems to me that most subjects beyond something requiring only a yes or a no or a number or an address are much more efficiently dealt with by a voice call even if it ends in a voicemailbox.
What’s more, the numbers are tiny and my thumbs are thick.
I live in Vegas and many who have retired from the Rust/Snow belts have kept their old cell numbers. Very convenient for them but If I don’t recognize the number I don’t answer the phone. We are also deluged with Robo Calls. “the Sheriff is outside your door with an arrest warrant”.. Blah, Blah, Blah Blah.. The latest trick is you get a call from your own name and telephone showing on the incoming line. We’re are starting to get robocalls at 6 AM in the morning PST. I’m an early riser , but if my wife ever got her hands on these early callers. There would be a brutal, murder scene with unrecognizable body parts strewn everywhere.
We have a landline phone for our internet connection and wi-fi service when we’re using mobile devices at home. But we’re rarely called on the landline by anyone we want to speak with. But spammers never quit, no matter how many laws Congress passes or regulations the FTC adopts. And it’s irritating to let the phone ring. So I bought a gadget like this (https://www.amazon.com/Digitone-ProSeries-II-Call-Blocker/dp/B084M9GT3C/ref=sr_1_2?crid=22OQ98LHN61PY&keywords=digitone+proseries+call+blocker&qid=1582586400&sprefix=digitone+pro%2Caps%2C212&sr=8-2). It augments AT&T’s call-protect service — which is good but not great. A fake call that gets by ATT&T’s filter will ring once and then the call-blocker will hang up on it. Occasionally a fake call will get through both filters and the phone will ring several times. But with the call-blocker I can prevent future intrusions from that source by blocking the number, the exchange (no more spoofed calls from your own three-digit exchange), the area code (there are a lot of them from which you will never receive real calls, and various other combinations (e.g., all calls from any number in an exchange that starts with a certain number in a certain area code).
The Results of an Informal Study
I recently had occasion to be away from home for seven weeks, and once I was home again it took me a couple of days to address whatever landline voicemails were waiting for me. I wish I’d had the foresight to keep careful track, but I didn’t, so this comment might be not precise as to how many of what were on my landline.
I do recall that there were 77 voicemails to be addressed. Of course, callers who hung up on me before the call went to voicemail are *not* part of that tally; I get a few of those every day, so one can do the math there.
Of the 77, I estimate that two-thirds or so hung up without leaving a message: just the ol’ click. [Aside: it is a weakness of mine that when I answer the phone and all I get is the ol’ click, I get mildly enraged. At least apologize for the wrong number, fergawdsake. But (I conjecture), they’re not wrong numbers, just telemarketers a-doin’ their thang.]
Of the remaining one-third, most were telemarketers who did bother to leave a brief message, but a small handful were people whom I did know and from whom I would have been happy to hear.
Yep, best way to reach a millennial is text, though I have to say our daughters will answer their phones. I guess it’s hard to ignore mom and dad.
My kids have no problem ignoring us. It’s 98% texts. One benefit is they text photos, like those of our new granddaughter. I still answer but, if I don’t hear a voice in 10 seconds, I hang up. I suppose it is because I have a California cell phone area code but I get a Chinese robo call about every two weeks.
It’s kind of funny, I paid big bucks for a phone that I won’t answer 🙂 However, it is good as an alarm clock, timer, book reader, calendar, browser, navigation device, and camera.
I’m so rude over the phone that nobody calls me anymore.
Don’t Hang Up
Spammers are more than just annoying IMO; what they have done is make it nearly impossible for any one who is looking for work to avoid them. Just in case that call who is NOT in your caller ID is calling about your resume you have to pick up.
With my uncanny ability to get things wrong, I smugly predicted that texting was only a fad; who wants to hunt and peck a message when you can you just call and talk?
My work involves being on the phone nearly constantly, when I am not otherwise in a meeting. These are prearranged calls.
Generally speaking I do not answer the phone at home, regardless of whether I recognize the number or not. My children and siblings know to call my mobile phone if they want to talk with me. I only answer calls on my mobile that I know or recognize. My phone ringer is nearly always silenced.
I work in sales. Face to face interaction is always preferred. More and more people want to use Webex or Zoom or some other video conferencing tool. Not as good as being in the room together, but better than a phone call. The idle banter at the beginning and end of a face to face meeting is great relationship building activity.
I text for everything else. My wife is annoyed by this, though she enjoys it when I include a Bitmoji.
Text messages allow people to communicate even if one party is not immediately available. That is their strength. If the conversation does not need to be complex, I prefer txt. I rarely answer the phone now unless I recognize the number. Even then, its 50/50 I just let it go to voicemail. My personal phone is also my business phone. I get business related telemarketing calls a lot. People wanting to update my “ Google Listing”. Hundreds of times over the last few years. You tell them you are not interested, you curse them, you yell at them and the sorry low lives call you back anyway. I despise them with every fiber of my being. Any new customer wants to talk to me he has to leave a message. Thats how bad it is.
“Don’t Hang Up”
Rats, I was hoping for the Orlons.
Getting messages on my cellphone from what seem to be telemarketers cheerfully speaking Chinese perplexes me.
Just in the last couple of months I’ve started getting odd “calls”.
There’s no ring and the connections go straight to voice mail. It’s always callers who are making business-related offers such as “want to sell your house?”
This is not my doing, and I’ve not heard of how the caller can cause this to happen. At first, I assumed that I had inadvertently gone to “vibrate” no-ring mode but now it’s happened multiple times when I could confirm my ringer was on.
I hang up immediately if it’s a robocall or a telemarketing call (like “is Betty there? ” “Or the reason I’m calling is that I’m with the Police Association…” ). We get 4 or 5 of those kinds of calls each day. I don’t care if it seems rude or not.
I have an odd relationship with phone calls: like sushi, I never want them, but once I’m having one I enjoy it. I love text because it puts me in control of at least my side of the conversational pace, and gives me as much time as I need to formulate an answer.
Of course, I am a long-winded texter. Very long-winded. There is almost no situation too complex for me to want to pick up the phone and talk to the other person about it. In fact, the only one I can think of recently is when two faraway friends wanted to discuss as-yet-unmade vacation plans with us, and we handled that via FaceTime.
RohanV’s comment is interesting and matches what I describe above. I wonder if this feature is auto applied to some calls but not others because this only happens, for me, on a few calls.
“Apple introduced a new feature on iPhones in a recent update which automatically sends any call from a number which is not in your contacts to voicemail.”
I, too, am a dinosaur but I have always hated talking on the phone. Being able to do things online has been a godsend to me.
At least 90% of the calls we get on our landline are spam. We never answer them unless (1) they are from someone in our contacts or (2) we are expecting calls from doctors or tradespeople. Family members usually text, email, or call cell phones. Three area codes in Texas (including ours) are the most frequently spoofed area codes. What that means in practice is that the spammers use a different fake number each time they call so they are impossible to block. All the more reason not to pick up.
I am an old curmudgeon, I am in my mid 70’s and retired and half of the time when I get an unknown number call I answer it and then hold on to get a real voice offering me an extended warranty on my car and other such nonsense, after mumbling some affirmative grunts for about 30 seconds I tell them I am really not interested but I like to take up their time just to annoy them. It kind of works and my robo calls have cut down way down.
As for that text stuff one daughter communicates almost only with text, the other answers the phone about half the time and likes text and my son will always answer my calls unless he it tied up on something else and then he will send a text saying he will call back and I try to avoid annoying them as much as possible. I also love the fact that I can talk without long distance charges and send and receive texts and photos of kids and grandkids.
We have come a long way in the last 50 years with communication since I spent three years in the late 1960’s as a morse code intercept operator in Europe copying hand sent morse code, the great fantastic pre 1860’s Civil War technology that held on the militaries of the world for a long time.
I have always thought that ALL of the costs of a phone call should be borne by the person or entity making the call and not by the person receiving the call. If this were the case, I suspect that robo-calls and other junk calls would disappear.
If somebody wants to get rich, they should invent an app which blocks every call that doesn’t have an actual human being on the other end of the line (Yes, I know that this won’t work, but I can dream).
I wonder about the economics of robocalling. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who didn’t just hang up on them, which means that they don’t make any money on those calls. Of course, they’re machines, so they don’t care about wasted time; but surely all of those calls cost something ?
I’m completely phone-phobic. I tense with a jerk every time the phone rings. Just the disruption puts me in a state of panic. No, I’m not getting collection calls, nor have I ever. I dodge most calls from my brother and sister. Those calls especially drive me nuts. My wife handles the answering machine, and I do not have voice mail on my cell phone. I may, on a heavy-use month, use 10 airtime minutes. Please text or email. That gives me not only a record of what was said, but allows me to answer when it is convenient to me, and enough time to think through an answer – and I don’t have to listen to someone drone on and on about something I have no interest in. Just go away.
Work phone during work I answer. Personal phone I don’t answer during work. After or before work, yes. Spam calls are rare. Spam texts are more prevalent, though they’re an easy delete away.